Showing posts with label Reflections. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Reflections. Show all posts

November 6, 2010

We have been brought to our knees.

How to say thank you?
The support that people have offered has been amazing.
There have been over 15 people who have posted about Mason, our family & the fundraiser.
There have been probably over 100 tweets about it.
I have received a couple dozen emails,
and we have received donations.
Amazing.
God is so good.

For those of you who are new to this Blog.
Our lives are not normal,
I am not positive all the time & I write about the negative often.
Not much has gotten better, but much has gotten worse in the last 6 months.
We have had appointments lately that have been incredibly hard.
We have been told that some things that have been in our nightmares are true.
The last several months have all been about waiting & our new reality.

And we are still waiting. 
Waiting for Genetics to come back & tell me if Mason has 
Smith-Magenis Syndrome or something else.
Waiting for the rest of our latest Autism Assessment which now happens on Tuesday.
Waiting to know what is really happening with our Son...
what can we expect our future to be.

It has been a month or so of reflection for me.
What would our life have been...
What should I do with it now.
See I am planner.

I need plans, organizations & to know what is coming.
God has taken us down a path that is not always easy.
It can cause lots of anxiety & lots of hurt.
But I do love my life.
I don't know what I would do if my life was different.
It would be very empty, I would be very lost.

My life is not something to pity.
I am not a hero.
I am a Mom of three boys.
And yes one of them has special needs.
But I am no hero.
I am a Mom doing what has to be done to care for my children.
That is all.
I yell far too often & I get angry with our situation.
Sometimes I feel like giving up.
But how could I?
This is my life & I wouldn't change it...too much.

This fundraiser for Mason means so much to our family.
We have felt alone in our fight for Mason.
Most have left us alone.
 Those who haven't we cherish a lot more.

I never believed that when I starting Blogging that people would read.
I never thought what it could do for me.
I never thought that of what it could do for our family.
I just needed to write.

For everything it has done for us I need to thank you.
It has brought us to our knees...
we have been shaken down to our core with shock & emotion.
It's just such a blessing.
So thank you.

Next week we will be spending a very large sum of money on Mason's test & some supplies.
Thank you to all of you who have had the capabilities to donate & have.
We understand that not everyone can help financially & would never want you to feel that you have to.
All the support we have received no matter the form is more than we had imagined.

I have met some beautiful people this past week & hope to meet more as the fundraiser continues. 
Don't be afraid to leave comments or email us.
It has been amazing to read your supportive words.

Alison from aPearantlySew left this verse on her post about Mason it really hit me hard so I share it with you.

"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me. Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you? The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me"
Matthew 25:35-40 

God bless you.
May he keep your family healthy & happy.

The Sears Fam

Links to some of the people who have posted on our behalf:
(if you have posted & are not on this list please let me know)


http://twitter.com/#!/mamasitamica


And there are many more to come!

January 27, 2010

REFLECTIONS

REFLECTIONS

As I have been creating this blog, there has been so much reflection.


JOSH

Josh, he is such a handful! But I couldn’t live without him.
I feel so much Heartache for what he has had to deal with these last two years.
Never knowing who is coming and going...is Mommy & Mason going to be home?
Who will be there in the middle of the night?
Josh knows that Mason is special, and he knows Mason has a tube.
But how much can a four year old really understand?
God Bless his heart, he doesn’t understand that Mason doesn’t understand.
I think he would like it if Mason could just play with him.
Josh has so much love in his heart, he loves Carter more than anything else.
He has been through so much, as I reflect in what it has been to be Josh this past two years, I have realized that there is nothing more important than for to provide a stable environment for him.
We have decided to put Josh in Surrey Christian School.
We know that we can’t really afford it, but God has put it on our hearts.
God will provide the way.

MASON

Reflections of Mason, OY OY!
These past two years have been the hardest years of my life.
I feel like I let my son’s health slip...I let the Doctors push us around.
Mason did have something wrong with him, I wasn’t crazy like EVERYONE was saying.
Mason has taught everyone around us what the word “MIRACLE” means.
I am working hard to help Mason as much as I can.
I feel like I am falling so short of what he needs.
I which the “Universal” Health Care of Canada, would just help us.
Why must Mason suffer, waiting, not understanding what is going on?
Mason has alot of frustration,
I feel his frustration all day everyday.
Reflections of Mason, OY OY!

CARTER

When Carter was born everything changed.
When the doctors told me something was wrong I cried.
When I couldn’t cuddle Carter or make him comfortable, I weeped.
“NO GOD NO”
“I will NOT have two with tubies”
“Lord help Carter”
The Doctors where able to help him, thanks to Mason’s struggles.
He is on a lot of Meds, But he is my chubby baby...
He is doing well...thanks to Mason’s struggles.
I pray daily that Carter will continue to do well...NO more tubies allowed in my house.
Carter, a happy, chubby, wide-eyed little boy.
I questioned God why he gave me more...
I know now that C is to add more Joy into our lives.
When I have had enough....ENOUGH
Carter smiles at me...And I cry tears of thankfulness...
He brings a sense of peace in our hearts.
Baby Carter

MY HUBBY

Nick
Understands.
Has been the person,
I cry with,
talk with,
Hug.
Nick has aged...LOL...sorry hun!
We have been through so much.
The odds are against us.
Many worry about our Marriage.
DON’T
I couldn’t live with out Nick.
He is my love, he has my heart.
Nick is there when no other human being is...
He understands, he doesn’t judge.
Nick is a father...
We are his reason.
Nick is my love.

ME “MOMMY”

Oh reflections...
I see my reflection,
Three boys and a little Angel have helped create my “mommy” figure...LOL
A figure I am working on.
My skin reflects my feelings real well these days...
My emotions or lack of being able to control them reflect what my heart has been through.
I used to be able to hide...
No more.
I have learned life lessons well beyond my years, I have aged 10 years at least.
I have reflected on myself as a Wife & Mother,
Am I a good Wife?
Good Mother?
What can I do to do better...
It gets dark sometimes...
Did I let J & M down?
Would M be this way if I had pushed sooner?
People ask...
“How do you do it”
I reply,
“He is my son...this is my life...God gave me this Blessing”
“What would you do”
It blows my mine to think of how Mommy’s can...
I could never hand my son over.
This is my family.
I love J & M & C.
They are my REASON!
I don’t care what people think, what people say...
I have no time for Drama.
I am going to do whatever it takes to give my Son’s what they need.
I am a Wife...I am a Mom
I have not lost...I have gained.
God is using me...
There have been reflections...
INSIGHT.