a chocolate contest.

a dirty obsession.

okay here it is...

i am obsessed with....

shhh...

chocolate.

i cannot go a day without 1 piece of it.

in fact i buy a 400 gram bar every couple weeks.

i can't help it.

when i am freaking out inside or having a hissy fit...

i just go to the cupboard & find myself a piece.

i close my eyes & let it melt.

then i am ready to take on the world again.

it.is.really.really.really.bad.

to use food for something like that.

i cannot stop thinking about chocolate.

i don't even really care about what type it is.

mmm....chocolate.

i am in need of some serious help.

i need some serious boot camp whippin.

some chocolate rehab.

in fact i think i could use a piece right now.

can you help me?

i need ideas...

to be rid of the chocolate.

for the obsession to end.

for your ideas you could win a gift basket...

FULL of chocolate!

you will not be disappointed & maybe i can be rid of chocolate!

How to enter:

1- You must leave your Name or Twitter id, contact & your idea under thoughts ~1 entry

2- Follow me on Twitter (SearsFam & Mason4variety) ~1 entry each

3- Become a Fan on Facebook (SearsFam)~1 entries

4- Share our website via Twitter or Facebook~2 entry each

5- Let me know how many entries you have made!

You do not have to do all of these, but it could up your chances of winning!

The contest will be closing on March 23rd, @ 11:59pm...which also happens to be my birthday!

Good luck!

Example "thought"

1. Dana Sears @ danamsears@shaw.ca

2. Twitter: SearsFam

3. I am a fan!

4. I shared your website on my blog...www.yourwebsite.com

5. I have made 5 entries!

birthday.

Mason is 2.

Mason is 2.

His birthday was yesterday.

When I ask Mason how old he is, he says "free" and holds up one finger!

Cute.

It is hard to believe.

The past two years are a blur, trying to make sense of what has happened is crazy.

I am done looking to the past.

Mason's has made it to his 2nd Birthday & he is doing better than he ever.

It's pretty cute hearing him call me "Dana" just to be cheeky!

Or "Nakey butt" when he has managed to get his diaper off!

He is growing up.

We did something that I think is so cool.

As a Family we Bowled for Variety's kids, on Mason's 2nd Birthday.

Variety is the Children's Charity who has helped us these past 2 years.

We raised $550 for Mason's Birthday!

So cool.

Mason & Daddy bowling together.

Mason bowling on his own.

Taking a break!

My son is a fighter.

I have no idea what else Mason & our family will have to fight in our future?

But we are ready for it.

We will fight and we will win.

There are lots of ups & downs...

Physically & Emotionally.

But we have got through the first 2 years.

It is onward & upward from here.

Happy Birthday to my Son.

He is no longer a baby...

I love you, Mason.

pics of my boys wanted!!

the coolest art ever.

Check out this contest through www.scarymommy.com/6940/ it is the coolest art from www.modernbirdstudios.com

I definitely would like to win this! I may even one day be able to afford to buy some...

I wish I could get it now! I would like three pics, one of each of my boys!

CHECK IT OUT!

family.eyes.carter

Family.

Nick's extended Family has been in town.

I got to meet some of the Family for the first time.

It was so nice, Josh loved the Big boys!

His Family has been nothing but supportive since they got here.

And I am never one to take compliments well,

I am trying to learn to allow myself to feel good, not guilty when I am encouraged.

And I have to tell you it does feel really nice.

I don't know why I feel guilty, it's not really guilt per se.

I sometimes feel like I am not good enough,

I am not doing enough.

I am not keeping up with everything.

But I have been told to give up on it.

I kinda have the last couple weeks.

But now it's eating me alive...my house needs a serious cleaning.

So who wants to come clean? LOL

I wish that all our Family lived close by and this wasn't just 1 time a year.

It has been really nice.

my eyes.

So I went and saw this Doc about my eyes.

I have had my eyes tested half a dozen times in the last two years.

It's always the same thing.

EXCEPT this last time!

This Doc tested for something not routinely checked and...

VOILA

He found it...

one of my pupils turns inwards!

So I have ordered new glasses and soon I shall be able to see and my eyes will relax...

Oh I can't even wait...

1 whole week.

Carter.

Carter has been my easiest Baby!

He doesn't come without issues though.

Along with his HUGE beautiful eyes & smiles...

comes more issues with eating.

WHY oh WHY?

Sometimes I get these feelings...Mason all over again.

Just little scares that take my breath away for a few moments...

and then I wake up from my thought and KNOW that Carter is way better than Mason ever has been.

Carter has been refusing to take bottles (anymore than 2 ounces) when he is awake.

I am having to dream feed him to get 4-5 ounces in.

I am tired...so many night feedings.

He is getting way better with not gagging on baby foods though...

This is a HUGE step.

We will be seeing an Occupational Therapist for him this thursday.

Funny that because of Carter, Mason is also going to get therapy 1 time a month.

GOOD NEWS PEOPLE!

Keep you up to date on what they have to say about the boys.

I am praying it is nothing but GOOD news.

Good night.

A Mason update...

Mason.

It has been a tough 6 weeks with Mason & his doctors.

I have been avoiding pretty much everyone and everything.

I haven't wanted to talk about it, but I guess it's time.

Starts with the GI doc.

He knows Mason is still having issues with his feeds and issues with real food.

But has passed the bucket.

Except the doc he tried to pass us too passed as well.

So we are going to be seeing a GI who no longer wants to deal with Mason's issues.

I love that Doctors egos can be so high...

Just because he can't figure it out, he's lost all interest.

We will be begging a GI from Toronto Sick Kids who has just come to Vancouver to take him on. He specializes in children who have feeding tubes.

Apparently, you can't stay healthy just eating formula your whole life.

Seeing the Neuro was a day that I lost all control of my emotions.

He didn't seem to care about the issues with Mason.

He didn't think he was all that bad.

"He's so good compared to other children with the same issues."

Okay, I know he doesn't have Down Syndrome, or CP...

BUT HE IS NOT NORMAL COMPARED TO A "NORMAL" CHILD.

So what do you want me to do?

The Neuro said, "He may very well have some neuros issues, but there would be nothing I could do for him. I don't feel warranted to do any tests, we probably won't find anything."

So I am supposed to sit back and let him be?

How does he know that we won't find anything?

How does he know that there is nothing they can do for him?

He said, "it's a GI problem."

GREAT, cause GI says it's a Neuro problem.

So we left as I sobbed in front of everyone in the hospital.

Is it so wrong that I would like to know what is wrong with my son?

Is it so wrong that I would like to know what our future holds?

I never even know what tomorrow brings.

I am tired, so tired.

Why are they all just passing the buck? I am so tired of it all.

We need $150 to get Mason's medical records or we have to wait anther five months to get them.

We have an older Pediatrician who is interested in his case and has some ideas, but he needs all the records. I do not want to wait another five months but we have to.

Who can afford to spend all this money all the time?

Funny that I have been looking into working one day a week doing Respite, when we really need some Respite.

I am so sick to my stomach lately about what to do?

How do I make them understand?

Or do they understand and their egos are so big that they pass?

If they say he needs therapy why doesn't he just get therapy?

Why do we have to wait another 18 months to get only some?

I am heart broken for Mason.

I wish I could do more, but all I can do is all I can do.