Merry Christmas to all!

Wishing you and your a very Merry Christmas.

May God Bless you with Health, Happiness and strength for the next year.

God has worked Miracles in the last year and we could not be happier this Christmas.

Faith, Love and Joy to you.

We have been busy little Bees.

We have been SO busy.

Last Friday started the Christmas spirit and we have yet to slow down!

(We found that Mason is going to have Full Benefits from the Government)

The house is tidy and almost clean...

the tree is finally decorated and the house feels of Christmas.

Decisions are being made.

Josh is home from school for two weeks...

we are driving each other crazy, but enjoying him being home for the most part.

We are taking Josh and his friend to Science World without the other boys next week.

It's going to be a surprise. 

Mason has had a really rough month, first with Pneumonia and then just his overall Mental status has been not as good.

We talked with the IDP worker as she came this week.

She had noticed the slipping of "Mason" and how much worse it has gotten.

"We all knew it was going to get worse. Didn't you?"

This was not a question and we knew it wasn't.

Nick replied with, "We didn't think it was going to happen SO fast."

And we really didn't.

We knew things were going to get worse, it just all happened so fast.

My heart has been heavy this week.

I have tried very hard to remain positive and I know now that we will have people working with Mason things can get better. 

It's just going to take a lot of ongoing work for the rest of his life.

I guess every once and a while it hits me all over again that this isn't going away.

Many decisions have been made between Nick and I in these past days.

I may not like alot of these decisions, 

they may hurt my heart to have to make...

but it's for the best.

Carter has copied some more words in the past few days, which has been a relief for him to start to have some words.

You can still tell he isn't hearing all of the words, but I really don't care at this moment.

His knew copied words are:

Diego

Help

Wow

Uh oh 

Racoon

"Di-Di" (Mason's name for soothers)

It has been amazing to watch Carter grow these last weeks.

The best part is he just comes and gives me hugs and kisses

He is worried when someone is hurt and tries to comfort them.

He loves to read all kinds of  books not just one over and over.

He is a baby who has grown into a toddler.

A toddler that has emotions.

I have missed these terribly.

It warms my heart in times that it feels so cold.

Carter was a gift from God.

I questioned God over and over about the timing of Carter.

I knew that once God decided that we were ready to know more about Mason, that he knew we would never decide to have more children.

Carter woke in his sleep last night and I rocked him for as long as I could.

For so many reasons.

This past year of blogging and sharing has really changed our lives.

Some people have commented on my "grammar and spelling". 

This blog is my journal, my spit it out and I don't care about those things.

I write and I never edit, I feel it would change the integrity of what I have written.

My feelings are my feelings.

Life is so open, there are no secrets and I don't care if people judge us.

I can't thank you enough for all the support we have received from both IRL people and people who are complete face strangers.

We love you all.

Merry Christmas. 

God Bless you and yours,

The Best Christmas Present we could ever get.

Good tears are a flowing people...

they are flowing and it feels so good.

This morning we were told that Mason was found to be eligible for the At-home program.

Not only was he found to be eligible for Medical benefits but also Respite.

Just pure shock and excitement at getting anything...

but getting both Medical and Respite. 

Wow. Just. Wow.

This means that most of what Mason needs is going to be covered. 

I cant even tell you what this means to us.

AHHHHH!!!!

::tears and snot everywhere::

We have been fighting for so long...

We know that the fight is not even kind of over, but at least people are now joining our team.

A strong team wins the game right!

The past five weeks have been an absolute whirlwind for us.

First we get two diagnosis in one week.

For those who do not know yet Mason was diagnosed with Smith-Magenis Syndrome and Autism.

In the past five weeks we have gone to having very little funding...

whatever we could get from Charities.

To know being approved for Autism therapy, Medical benefits, and Respite.

Talk about a complete three sixty to last year.

Not even going to think back to where we were last year. 

In the past couple months we have had several donations, some big & some small.

It has all helped.

We have presents that are coming for our boys for under the tree & a food hamper coming from the church.

It may seem silly because my Mom is making Turkey dinner on Christmas day, but I really would love to make my children their own turkey Dinner here at our house on Christmas Eve. 

It just wasn't in the budget with everything else this month. 

I can't even wait.

Maybe Mason will even enjoy a few bites of what he's allowed.

We want to make it clear that my Nick does work, in fact he has one day off this week.

 Nick works so hard for us. 

We sit in lower middle class income, and we would have been alright even if I didn't go back to work ever. 

But the costs of Mason have cost us more...

Like so many people we had to sell our home, use our saving and then go so far into debt.

It will take a miracle or very rich person to help us, to ever get out of the pit of darkness that is our finances.

It's a good darn thing we believe in Miracles.

::laughing:: Cause one can dream right!

We know that God has had us in his hands guiding us through this.

We have felt his hand alot lately.

The people that walked away from us have been replaced by a couple hundred more and those that have replaced them mean so much more than we could ever tell you.

We have truly felt alone for so long and the past several months we have felt so loved, prayed for and supported.

I am sure that some people find it funny that I say I am loved and love complete strangers.

Even Nick thinks its a bit nuts how much I care about "complete strangers" but I do.

You all have lifted our spirits.

We can't even begin to thank all of you who have reached out when we have been in the worst places.

Josh is and has been having a lot of trouble handling everything that has been going on.

I am praying that with someone to help with Mason now, Josh and Carter will receive the attention they need. 

This has been extremely heart breaking as a Mother. 

I just don't know where to begin to help heal Josh's heart.

It is hard living with Mason right now.

It must be especially hard on Josh.

This funding is going to do more than just pay for Mason's extraordinary needs, it's going to bring our family back to a place where we can focus on being a family.

Where I can focus on being a better Mother.

Where maybe we can see more of Nick.

What a Christmas miracle.

The tears won't stop flowing.

But they are some of the best tears I have ever had.

I just need to Scream.

And as soon as the babies wake up I just might!

As for us we will be decorating our Christmas tree tonight as long as Nick is home.

It'll probably happen tomrw since I have a feeling he is going to get called in.

Celebrations are in order, whos coming?

God is just SO good.

“And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” – Phil 4:19

Waiting...Waiting...Waiting...

I am slowly going crazy
1-2-3-4-5-6- switch.
Crazy going slowly am I
6-5-4-3-2-1 switch.
Repeat, faster each time!

We are a bunch of Sickies...

It has been a really hard week.

Mason has Pneumonia...

Carter has Bronchitis...

Josh has a bad cough.

I feel like I was hit by a bus.

It hasn't hit Nick yet & I am hoping it doesn't!

So we are all trying to focus on getting better & getting into the Christmas spirit.

But I feel like we are being held back because the Government decides this thursday whether they are going to cover Mason's medical supplies.

There is also a small possibility they see the NEED for respite.

So with this decision still up in the air I think we are feeling the pressure more than ever. 

We are also waiting to here if we are going to have to pay the government the $6000 dollars back.

My Dad said we should tell them if they pay the thousands they owe us then we'll pay it back.

If only it could work that way.

Sigh

We won't be hearing or dealing with any of the Autism funding until after Christmas.

January is going to be a very busy month as will the next several I am sure trying to get everything going and routined.

Have any of you dealt with the start up with Autism therapies and such?

Have any tips for me?

So far I have found NO support groups.

Once again I am going to ask for your prayers for thursday & for the board of people who decide our families future.

It is been a very emotional week so far for me.

Just so you know if we get funding it will be the best Christmas our Family has had to date.

I will be a ball of emotions either way.

If we get funding I am sure I am going to lose it & I will be an Emotional mess.

The fight will be over & maybe I can relax a little.

I want to focus on raising my family instead of trying to keep us together.

If we don't get funding I don't even know what is going to happen.

And I don't even want to think about it cause it's not going to happen.

I am believing, can you believe with me?

With us?

Can I just say how much I love you all.

This last year has been made so much easier for me with the support of good people.

I wish I could meet all of you & give you the BIGGEST hugs!

I will post as soon as we know!

Thank you so much!