September 29, 2010

Wordless Wednesday: Exactly 1 year ago.

Who I am kidding? There are words. 
This is us exactly 1 year ago. Crazy.

Happy times at the Beach.

My sweet new Baby.

The position Carter was stuck in.

When Carter got hospitalized for suspected Cerebral Palsy, thank goodness it turned out to be "Sandifer's Syndrome". We have come so far in a year!

This is how Mason used to eat, when he ate. In this pic Mason was not only feeding himself, but Josh. 

I miss this Mason. 

My Joshie having so much fun. This is crazy cause we were at the park today!

September 26, 2010

Just Another Update...

So I must explain my absence from writing.

We have been dealing with alot more than usual lately.
The stress levels have been so high.

So here it goes.
The big explanation.
Be prepared for a bunch of whining. 

It all started this Summer when Nick's Job got changed & he had to go through training.
The training & the times got moved all the time.
We lost a lot of money due to the nature of Nick's training shifts & the boys barely saw him during the daylight hours.
These past few months have been awful & I am so ready & thankful for Fall.
Fall brings Nick working, x3 nights  & 1 overtime shift somewhere a week.
This brings more money into the house.
we have yet to see it, but it's coming next week!

This summer also brought 3-4 Dr. Apps a week. 
This is more than we had ever had before.
I was an physical & emotional wreck after each day.
Carter had his surgery & we had hoped that his eating would improve.
Unfortunately, it has gotten worse.
Carter will be going for the same feeding study Mason has had several times.
Carter has been on thickened fluids for quite some time now & has been refusing his un-thickened bottles.
All of this doesn't mean that Carter has the same swallowing problems, but he does have very extreme Reflux that can trigger a child to not eat.
I know, again.
The OT & Mason's Infant Development Worker have been concerned that we are in denial.
Secretly, we have been.
I just thought things would get better. 
Carter has lost weight, but he has now gained some back.
So it's time I talk about it.
~this is one of the reason's I haven't been blogging.

For more news....
If you have read my past posts you know that we went to Genetics.
They think it's quite probable that Mason has, "Smith-Magenis Syndrome".
The wait was going to be around 3-4 weeks,
then 6-8 weeks.
We are now in week 8, stuck wondering what is taking so long.

Mason being older now is going through another Testing period for Autism.
It is believed by many of Mason's professionals, he will fit the spectrum of Autism under the new criteria that will be in place in 2012. 

We have started the testing again, alot of the Specialists are using the new criteria already.
This past week Mason saw the Speech Pathologist, who is 1 of 3 who has to agree on the Autism Spectrum Diagnose.
For her part (speech) Mason fits the Spectrum.
So part 1 down, 2 to go.
It is not a question after having all Mason's Documents reviewed that Mason has Autism. 
He does.
We have sort of come to terms with it, but I don't think it will "hit home" until we have the diagnose in our hands.
We are thankful that he will fit in the High Functioning categories of Autism.

We are so curious to find out the results of "Smith-Magenis Syndrome", a diagnose of high functioning Autism is seemingly common. 

Josh has started school & is really enjoying it! 
Full time kindergarten starts tomrw & we are all looking forward to it.
Josh really struggled for the last month out of school, he wanted to go back.
So I am happy that he is happy.
When I think about it, I am kinda sad that for the next 13 years he won't be home during the weekdays.

Josh also had his own Dr. Apps this summer. 
He has formally been Diagnosed with ADHD & Asthma.
He is on new treatment for his Asthma & we have changed his diet quite a bit.
All in all Josh is doing really well!

The house has been alot of keeping up with & well we haven't been keeping up.
Our LandLords hasn't liked the amount of times the grass has been left uncut.
They are threatening to raise our rent.
We cannot afford anymore rent.
We are already taking Money of our Line of Credit every month to continue living, there isn't much line left.
I do not want to up root the kids again next year.
I know it's in God's hands, but we are just struggling not to stress about it.
On further note, now that Nick is back to regular schedule, our life is getting back to our "normal".
I maybe slightly OCD about things sometimes, so it's good that the house is getting back to it's regular.
 It is some anxiety of my back.

I have also spent the Summer taking courses.
~I know as if I didn't have enough to worry about.
 I have just opened a small business Designing Blogs.
Please send out the word that if anyone would like a Custom Blog, I'm there woman!
I am dedicating one day a week to it right now, and soon I will be doing it two.
At least we are hoping!

After all this Summer & not leaving the boys for three years...
Nick & I took off this week to Harrison Hot Springs for one night & then one night at home without them.
I did miss them & it seemed way to quiet.
But we got eat, sleep & reorganize the house without any interuptions.
It was great.
I think we both really needed the break.

Hopefully we will have some answers soon about the boys.
Let you know when we know.
~this seems to be my new catch phrase.

September 22, 2010

The only gift I can give.

This is a gift for you.
I don't have much left to give you most days, 
I'm sorry.

Today is your day & I love you. 

We love you.
We know that you will always work hard for us. 
That you will pick up what we leave behind, what we cannot manage.
You will always provide to the best of your abilities.
We know that you are the piece that holds us all together. 
 That through all of this stress you will still be there till the end.
You are the love of our lives.

I love you for,
~the laundry being done
ok only half done, but it's a start!
~the dishes 
~the SO good scrumptious meals
~the vacuuming & floor washing
even if it's not to my OCD standards
I love you for picking up what I can't...
for finishing because I can't.
for dealing with my PDD or Stress or whatever we don't call it.

I wish I could do more.
I could pick up my socks & say shove it.
I am going to do it all today.

Our boys look up to you,
they want to be you.
Our boys are so young...
They think that you can do anything & everything.
They believe in you & I believe in you.

The last two years have changed our lives forever.
I strongly believe that we will never be the same.
I am so grateful that you were by my side.
There is no human being I long to be with more.
As much as the stress of our crazy life gets in the way,
How tired we have become & how we have aged 10 years in 2.
~there is one one I would have rather aged so quickly with.
How we have both had to let go of our dreams only to grasp our new reality,
we have both had to change our expectations of life.
No matter how hard our world has been.
No matter how many people have doubted us,
have judged & left us.
There is no one who I could have gone through this with but you.
I have a lot of Anxiety that one day I will be without you. 
It comes with the past of our lives.
No one will ever understand what we have.
I only wish I had more to give you.

I know that there is much burden that you carry & that is our reality. 
You are a Man & you can do all things though him.
Don't loose sight of that.
We need you.
I need you.

I am sorry for the losses, 
but I will never be sorry for what we have gained.
The experiences we have been through have been what most have in a lifetime.
I am glad to have lived a lifetime with you & look forward to many more.

Although there have been more angry stressful days lately...
I pray that soon life will be easier.
Soon we will be free to think only of the positive.
To only feel the positive.

We have aged. 
Not only because it's your Birthday,
but because we have made this Family together.
We have been through alot together & it is not even close to over.
We have grown & I look forward to seeing your wrinkles in the near future...
better start smiling more so you don't get frown wrinkles.
You are an old man now...
28 going on 38 I know.

Happy Birthday Hun. I love you.

Love from your Wifey.

September 18, 2010

30 minutes...

Setting up the scene.
So we were all outside, Nick was cutting the 5000 square feet of grass.
The boys were running/crawling around like crazies after there Dad, they were getting covered in grass since Nick was mulching as he cut. 
As Josh & Mason were running around, Carter took some of his first steps.
He just stood up for the first time without help & took a couple steps. 
This is the last time I will see one of my children take their first steps. 
Sad, but awfully inspiring too. 

So as Nick finishes cutting the grass he realizes that it would be nice to clean the sidewalk to the Renter's units downstairs. 
He gets the hose and starts spraying the grass off the sidewalk, all the while the boys are watching & scheming I'm sure. 
Nick gets about half down the sidewalk & then Mason came running through the water puddles. 
I am thinking it's fine their feet are dirty, we'll just take off their pants & all will be well. 

Nick continues to slowly make his way down the sidewalk & then Mason runs from nowhere straight to the hose. He is giggling & blocking his Dad from cleaning. 
Mason's legs are now covered in wet grass & water, he continues to get in the way trying to take the hose.
He gets his little hands on it & gets Nick wet. 
Insert Nick screaming & giggling like a little girl~ I love it!
Now Josh comes, I am sure he is thinking "WATER FIGHT" in his little head.

Josh is now running around screaming, Mason is screaming & Nick is still giggling trying to finish cleaning off the side walk. 
Mean while Carter is in my arms thinking these people are nuts...
How do I know this? You should have seen his face!

Mason has now got the hose several times is soaked from head to toe & he has got Nick wet several times. 

What does Nick do?
He sticks the hose over Mason's head, then he starts throwing water at Josh with the hose & gets him a little wet.
 This goes on until the sidewalk is done & Nick, Josh & Mason are SOAKED & covered from head to toe in mulched grass. 

Nick puts down the hose, leaving me in charge & turns off the hose.
He comes back started coiling it up &...
Josh had somehow sneaked past us, turned it back on & it was squirting Nick again. 
It was really funny, maybe you had to be there.
So I go turn off the hose & then Josh head there again, Nick thinks I am heading back to turn it on so he threatens war. 
I threaten that he will have to clean up the boys on his own.
War over.

So we headed inside the house, stripped the boys & thank goodness there is a bathroom with a shower next the laundry room.
We stuck all the Boys in the shower, Carter joined in & they all came out clean. 
My shower which had been cleaned that morning, however was covered it mulched grass.

The boys ran out of the shower minus Carter who crawled out wet, getting my tile floors all wet, sat on the couch as we diapered, Jammied, & medicated them all up. 
They then watched, "Harry & his bucketful of Dinosaurs" and then headed to bed.

It was a fun night, crazy, the end of Summer & the starting off Fall.
The weather changed the very next day. 
We truly are into the September buzz.

And yes we are still waiting for Mason's Genetic results.
I dislike that it is taking so long & just want to know. 
It eats me every time I think about it. 
Let you know when we know!

September 8, 2010

Summer's out..School's in.

This summer flew past SO fast.
It actually never really felt like summer anyway.
Josh stayed in School for the Month of July...

We had so many Dr. Appointments this summer and Carter's surgery.
In all we had an average of 4 Dr. appointments a week, 
just thinking about the money we spent on parking is making me sick.
We had many tests also & hope to get some answers by the end of September.

We did go camping this Summer a few times & really enjoyed it.
Our family really likes camping & as the boys get bigger we hope to do a whole lot of it.
Our first camp was "Family Camp" with Calvary Christian Church. 
It was great to camp with Grandpa, Grandma, Auntie Amanda & Uncle Aaron.
I only wish we could have had camp fires!

This is one of our other camping trips with New Life Assembly.
It has become tradition to do a slip & slide. 
Nick is now to old...
Josh only started to like it half way through...
Mason is hooked & couldn't wait to go again...
Carter wasn't allowed this year, but really wanted to go!

Carter also turned 1 this Summer! Grandma made a great cake!


We also spent a day boating with Uncle Nathan & Auntie Rachel.


And boating with Gary from Outlet Camping & if you know Mason he was so happy that Garry let him drive!

Josh learned to ride his bike without his training wheels & Carter is now scooting along with them! 

The trouble has really picked up in our house with 3 boys getting around!
This is Mason covered in Diaper cream, funny thing is he hates having anything messy on him!
And Carter dumped my "Hundreds of Thousands" from Australia. They are little pen dot sized decorations for cakes & such. 

Summer is now over & Fall is on it's way & I actually couldn't be more excited!
Josh's first day of Kindergarten went really well, despite him not wanting his picture taken!
Then we have Mason taking Josh out with a Hug for once! 

With school comes routine & I am looking forward to getting something going! 
I hope everyone's Summer's were great & fun filled! 

With September comes our First Variety Coin Drive, check out the Variety Page & Donate!

September 1, 2010

September 1st is a Special Day for Special Kids.

Variety-The Children's Charity.
Most of you know that part of Mason's supplies are covered by Variety.
Tomrw starts are 2 month long Coin Drive with 9 other families trying to raise funds.
I am looking for Business's, Organizations, Church's & Anyone else who can help host a Coin Box.
We are looking to fill tons of these puppies right up! 

I am going to be speaking in front of other Families tomrw along with the Media. 
Wowza, I know! Little me is going to make some noise & get some action going!

Variety has done more than I can explain in a few words for our Family.
 If you can, will you please Donate & spread the word?
You can pass along the link to anyone you like! 

Here is the speech that I will be presenting, Enjoy!

Hello, My name is Dana Sears & I am Mason's Mom. Mason was born with Special Needs. At this time we do not fully understand the "Special" but we do understand Mason's "needs". Because Mason doesnt have a diagnose, Drs dont really know what causes his issues, we do not receive government funding for Mason's needs. In 2009 Mason received his G-tube, this is a tube implanted into his stomach to allow us to bypass his swallowing. When Mason had his surgery we left BC Children's Hospital with Variety-The Childrens Charity Emergency Grant. This grant allowed us to rent Mason's necessary pump & gave us some feeding supplies. After months of trying to get government funding, Variety was there to help us with purchasing Mason's feeding pump. 5 months later Variety gave us a one year grant that covered much of necessary supplies.

Mason's feeding costs are around $100 a day, that works out to $36,000 a year, just to feed him. That is impossible for a young family. Mason also needs Occupational Therapy, Speech Therapy, Developmental treatment, Behavioural intervention & tools to help us in our day 2 day life.

Many families with Special needs Children struggle financially due to the extraordinary costs of raising our children.  Our Family has gone deeply into debt just giving Mason the bare minimums.  We are unable to supply Mason with everything that the Drs. and specialists say he needs. The impact of what Variety can do is etched in my heart. Without Variety-the childrens charity our Family would not be complete. When Variety gave us Mason's one year grant we were weeks away from having to give Mason over to the Ministry, we had no where left to borrow money from. Variety rescued our family, like they have done for so many other families.

Variety gives hope when no one else will help. Variety becomes a partner with families in caring for children. Variety needs donations to continue to impact lives, to help those in need. Your donations allow Variety to make a life changing impact in the lives and future of children.

Our family will never forget what Variety has done, they have changed the course of our lives and we wanted to help Variety change the course of more families lives.
We have decided to join the Annual Coin Drive. We are promoting the Coin Drive within the City of surrey where we live. On behalf of the business, organizations, the families & the communities of those whose lives have been changed by Variety-The children's charity. And we need your help. I challenge the business's and residents of Surrey to join us in this worth while effort.
Your Business, School, Church or Organization can help by putting out Coin boxes. On Variety's website you can read more about "Mason's Story" or Donate on-line. Just visit

Our family is also on Twitter, follow us @Mason4Variety or find us on Facebook- The Sears Family. We will be keeping you up to date on the 2 month long coin drive.

Thanks again Variety-The Children's Charity & to all those who donate.