February 28, 2010

Sickness & Church

has the sickness ended?

Although not one of us is 100% I think we are on the mend.
still coughing and tired, but he'll pull through.
Ears are really full still and really tired still.
His cough is almost better, but he is still really tired.
Still on Anti's, but is doing quite well.
Just finished his Anti's, had RSV and his cough will last awhile Doc says.

All in all, we are on the mend.

We spent the last day of the Olympics at Church.
Our AWESOME Church.
When we walked in there were couches and chairs set up around a HUGE screen.
A Huge screen which was built for us to watch the Olympics as a Church Family.
Paster Martin's sermon was on the Olympics and it ended early so we could watch the Gold Medal Game.
We all had nervous tummies, that were full from Soup and Sandwiches.
We yelled, smiled, clapped, jumped, and Cheered our Canadian Men to GOLD!
It was great!
Thanks Martin!

We have a busy next week and lots on my TO DO List.
I will check in soon.

February 25, 2010

The Sickness


It seems like the sickness will never end in our house.
Some funky virus for each of the kids...
Then Hand, Foot and Mouth virus twice.
(This lasts ten days for each child)
Aspiration Pneumonia-Mason
Now a Respiratory Virus for everyone...

I am SICK.
I do not like being sick.
I have been this way for three days.
It is just getting worse.
I am grumpy and have little patience.
I have had to practice "The Time out corner" for myself several times today already.

So this is where I have been...
Time out and resting.

Sickness when you have kids sucks.
Having sickies when your sick sucks even more.

I hurt.
My head is heavy with a nagging headache...
Made worse by Mason using everything as a drum and Carter's crying cause he's hungry, but too sick to eat.
My ears feel full, sore and plugged...
And not in a good way.
My cough is very heavy on my chest...
I have had to use my puffer many times just to regain control of my breathing.
I feel full of mucus and have no desire to eat.
But when I force myself to eat something little...
I feel sick to my stomach.
I am so tired...
I cannot sleep due to coughing and my kids being up several times more than usual.

My house is also sick with congestion, dirty germs and junk in every orifice.

As I sit here and write this all grumpy like...
I am suddenly swallowed by guilt.

Mason deals with many of these "sicknesses" daily or at least weekly.
His ears were full and heavy until he had surgery.
Mason's chest is heavy daily due to small aspirations of his own fluids and others.
He never knows when he is going to be able to breath or not breathe easily.
There is no constant reliance for him, with his lungs.
His cough is full of mucus, which his body has made to protect his lungs, which causes vomiting.
Mason is constantly being force fed through his tube...
Who knows if he feels good or not?
He often vomits daily and who knows how he feels?

So by the end of this...
I still feel horrible and now I also feel really guilty.

I am going to stop writing now and deal with my sick children...
My house will be "sick" for awhile...It is the last thing on my list.

Bed at 8:30pm again tonight.

February 19, 2010

"How do you do it?"

The Question I am asked Daily.

"How do you do it?"
I often see the whispers and stares.
In all different shapes and forms...
A side smile and a chuckle to themselves, this is the experienced Lady's stare
A dirty look from a Grumpy of Age...
A tired and whispy haired, half smile from another Mom with just as many children...
A look of "Are you Crazy?" from anyone who has no children...
Stares when people of all ages and backgrounds see Mason's tube hanging from his belly.
Looks of disgust or How cute, over my young son wearing a backpack...
There is also this look after people ask "how old are your children? All boys? OH! Are you going to try for a girl?"...
And it is the WORST look!
Stares of pity.

Definition of Pity
"A feeling of sympathy or sorrow for the misfortunes of others."


There are also questions...
"Really? Three boys all 3.5 years apart?"
"Are you going to try for a girl?"
"What is that tube?"
"What is wrong with your son"
"How do you afford it?"
"Why don't you just work?"
"How do you do it"

You asked the questions...here are the answers!
"Really? Three boys all 3.5 years apart?"
Yes, I am a baby making machine.

"Are you going to try for a girl?"
That is up for debate.

"What is that tube?" and "What is wrong with your son?"
The doctors don't really understand what is fully wrong with my son, he is unable to swallow properly. The tube is how he eats.
This is the short answer I tell people who ask as I am grocery shopping.

"How do you afford it?"
We can't...
We have racked up a lot of debt and I am constantly trying to get funding.

"Why don't you just work?"
Do you want to watch Josh, Mason and Carter?
Didn't think so.

And the big question...

"How do you do it?"

I just do it.


As I am writing this I have 6 loads of laundry to fold & put away. I have 5 loads of laundry to wash. The toy room is upside down, the kitchen is a disaster, and there is "junk" covering all the floors in my house.
I have not cleaned my personal bathroom in over a month.
I have 3 months of paperwork on my desk.
I have three days of Doctor appointments next week, that I haven't prepared for.
My van is disgusting inside and out.
I have no idea where half of anything is in this house.
I have not showered in three days and I smell of Vanilla vomit.
You see...I.am.no.Superwoman.

But I do make sure that the important things get done.
The boys have a routine...
I do get them bathed, fed and they do have fun everyday.
We do face new Challenges everyday just as most parents do...
ours are just a little different than most.

Our life means little sleep...4 hours most nights.
Coffee is a lifeline.
Money comes and goes.
People come and go...
The days tick by so fast.

Life goes on.

How do I do it?
One hour at a time.
One chore at a time.
One meal at a time.
One step at a time.
One Nick...
You should get one!

My life is complicated, it is full of hardships, joy and great moments.
Where there is sorrow, there is much to rejoice.
There is Good, there is Bad and there is ugly.

"I can do all things through him who strengthens me."
~Philippians 4:13~

I give the hard stuff to God.
I will not do it alone.
Faith, so much Faith.

This.is.how.I.do it.

February 16, 2010

Mr. Tubie's Anniversary

The 1 Year Anniversary

It is hard to believe it has been ONE YEAR.

One whole year since my son stopped...
Wasting away to skin and bones.
The crying, because he was starving.
One year since he stopped drowning in his own fluids, every single time he finally took a little bit of fluid to sustain the hunger.
One year since the doctors finally took notice, something was wrong...
I begged and pleaded for them to fix my son.
One year since was son was dying from Malnutrition.
One year since my son felt FULL for the first time.

February 15, 2009
This was the day Mason had his surgery...
They implanted this G-tube.
This Alien object.
"This was how we would feed our son?"
It felt like we could go no lower...
This was horrible.
How were we going to do this?

It all changed so fast.
Our perspective changed.
Mason is not just skin and bones anymore!
He is gaining weight and he is full.
The crying has stopped...
The constant trying to console him because he was hungry, but wouldn't eat stopped.
This Alien devise is no longer an Alien.
It is a way to feed my son.
One year since I begged and pleaded with the doctors to fix my son...
They still don't know how to fix him or what's really wrong.
But they KNOW something is wrong!
And they are seeking out to find an answer.
They are treating him to keep him alive!
His tummy had looked like a basketball, his skull and eyes were sunken with Malnutrition.
His eyes are now sparkling and he is very much alive.

One year ago I was losing my son,
Today my son said for the very first time, "I love you Mommy."
Although the past year has brought a lot of struggles...
And we continue to have new challenges everyday,
My son and his Alien are HERE and very much ALIVE!

We have no idea what the next year will bring...
But with the Alien, I know my little boy will continue to grow.
It may be slow...
It maybe a struggle...
But no matter what the struggle is worth it!

So Happy One Year "Tubie" (Alien)
I am glad you are here and that you are helping take care of my son.
Till next Year!!

February 14, 2010

Video of Bronson

Baby Bronson.

The You tube clip from his family...

February 13, 2010

The Miracle of Baby Bronson

Baby Bronson.

For the past several days I have been following another Families Blog.
I have asked you to follow and to Pray with me.
I wept many days after reading their updates.
I was unable to sleep.
I was finding myself unable to focus on anything other than sickness.
Since I was surrounded by S.P.O.T.S. it's of no wonder!
I felt their pain of having a child who is really sick.
I just felt so helpless, all I could do was Pray.

Through all Baby Bronson's Mom's Blogs...
I also felt a sense of Peace, a calm Peace.
I don't know how much Peace the Family was actually feeling...
But I could see the Holy Spirit holding them.
I could feel the love and the faith this Mom had.
Through this time of worry and heartbreak, they were a testament of their Faith.
They have touched alot of Families.

I am Happy to report that Baby Bronson has gone home!
I only have the last update on the families blog so...
That is all I know.

I hope that Sara (B's Mom) is able to find forgiveness for herself.
That bathtub is just a reminder that God is in control.
He is always there whether you need him or not.
I am Praying that Bronson continues to do well.
That Bronson can continue to be a testament to God's Grace...
His Healing Powers...
Love and Support.

God Bless The Stakers and all the Families they have touched.
I know I have been Blessed by The Staker Family.
I have been Blessed to see that through their unknowing and the heartache they felt..
We are not alone.
God is watching, he is in control and it all became very clear to me through them.
It's not that I didn't know this...
It's just that sometimes I need to be reminded.
Sometimes I need to feel this.
That there have been Miracles...
And there are more Miracles to come.
I am counting on it!

February 12, 2010

They are HERE!


The Olympics are here.
I wasn't exactly excited about them...
I still wonder if we will regain the money that has been spent?

But this past couple of days I have felt...
Proud to be Canadian.

Today I felt warmth.
I am ready to embrace whatever they may bring?
I want my children to say they were at the 2010 Olympics in Vancouver.
It's pretty cool!

I think that I have taken advantage of BC...
Not always in a good way.
We have thought of moving to other Provinces...
It is hard for the middle income Family to live here.
But we have The Mountains, The Ocean, and The Valleys.
We have Sun, Rain, and Snow...
We have comfortable temperatures.
We have Beauty...
God's beauty surrounding us.

I appreciate this Country...
Especially British Columbia a lot more as I have grown older and well older!
Tonight was a special moment...
But let's not forget our Creator and his Creation.
Give the Glory to God for our Nation.
This is his Country and our Responsibility to take care of it.
So take a little time...
Enjoy it.
Enjoy the Olympics!
This REALLY is a once in a life time opportunity!

S.P.O.T.s and Such...

My boys are doing Better!
Thank Goodness..
I was going crazy all couped up in this house.
The Spots have left our house...
But My Sister has brought them to her house :(
Oppss...Sorry Mom!
Josh is back at School...
Mason's Pneumonia is getting better...still present but WAY better!
Carter still has a cold and is grumpy...but is also on the mend.

Words do not describe, how scary it is when Mason has trouble breathing.
It always means he has become really sick...
and so Fast?
I am SO glad we caught this Pneumonia so fast.

There are not enough "Thank you's " to say how we feel.
The pouring of Support is always amazing.
We can feel the love and the thoughts...
I can see YOU...
I can see the worry and the Prayers.
Mason has become the testimony of how GREAT our God is...
Many times.
Miracle after Miracle.

So here is one of my "Thank you's"

God Bless your Families.
You are one of our many Blessings!

February 10, 2010



Today was another long day.

Dr. Cline- Ophthalmologist

My Mom took Mason for is eye appointment today.
Results are: he is near sided in one eye, but doesn't need glasses at this point!
I wonder if it's his left eye?
He will go back in six months for a check up.

Dr. Blank- Pyschologist

Nick and I went to our app. while Mason was having his eyes checked.
We have had a couple sessions with Mason...
Now it was our turn.
The Doc. believes that Mason's behaviors are due to Emotional, Social, and Physical issues. I think?
Again, it's not just "One" issue...
"It's complicated"
I have heard these words over and over again.
"Dr. Blank feels Mason is doing the best he can do with the his situation."
We definitely feel this way too.
I guess we were just hoping that there would be something...
Something we could do that could for him that could drastically change his life.
I was dreaming that maybe we would find someway to snap him out of his pain...
I think it is good to dream as long as you can be realistic in your dreams.
It was made clear to us that he REALLY needs Occupational Therapy, NOW!
It was made clear to me just how much the other Doctors don't understand.
We will continue to see Dr. Blank for "Play Therapy" once a month I think?

Dr. Ramesh- Pediatrician

Mason had a visit with Dr. Ramesh today as well!
Mason's lungs are sounding more clear and he is doing a bit better.
He has lost some weight and as always Dr. R is worried about that.
He seems to be on the mend...
We are trying to cut his Breathing treatments down and have gone to 50/50 Formula/Pedialite.
We will see how the next day goes...
We are praying that it will go well!
Today was an appointment where I actually feel Dr.R shared his thoughts for once and I feel I got through to him.
It turned out Dr.R shared more than I was ready for.
Mason is not progressing yet like they had hoped (thought)...
He has regressed.
The fact that he keeps getting sick and losing weight...
it's a vicious cycle.
Both the GI and Dr. R now believe it's a Neuro disorder.
If he does have a Neuro disorder it doesn't change anything in his "care"
There would be little they could do to help Mason.
Little to do to correct his issues.
Dr. R says it won't help.
He is frustrated, we are frustrated and so is Mason.
The Docs are now telling us they for see him having this tube for along time.
He is going to need a more specialized Nutritional GI Doc...
There are a lot of complications that can arise when you are tube fed for long periods of time.
Thank you Lord, they just brought a Nutritional GI Dr. from Toronto.
Now to get him to see Mason as a patient.
Mason most likely will never have a diagnose...
He will probably never get the help he needs.
"He doesn't qualify."
There was alot more discussed...
But I am too Emotionally tired to think anymore.
It has been a hard day.
One of my "dark" moments...LOL

Tomorrow is a NEW day...
And I will take it on with a fresh, couple of hours sleep ATTITUDE!
Till tomorrow...

Thanks for your Prayers.

The Sears Family

February 9, 2010

An Update

An EMERGE update.

Today was a long day.
Mason is still having a hard time breathing, but treatments are helping.
He is still having fevers...
but he is still at home.

Nick and I are headed to Children's Hospital tomorrow morning.
We will receive what the Child Psyc has to say.
We are not hoping, we Praying for answers and a plan!

We will then take Mason for a check up at SMH in the afternoon.
Please pray that he is well enough to come home from the Hospital

Let you know when are are able to!

Thanks for your Prayers.

The Sears Family


A night at the Surrey EMERGE.

Where to start?
He is okay, he has Pneumonia...Most likely Aspiration induced.
All the boys have been under the weather with Hand, Foot and Mouth Virus for the past 10 days.
Carter is on his second round...Josh is still not eating!
But yesterday we came home for our Interview at Surrey Christian School.
They have expected Josh...Yahoo!
I looked at Mason and new he wasn't feeling very well.
His rate of breathing was quite high and very noisy.
His trache and Chest were pulling...he was having a hard time breathing.
Off to EMERGE we went.

With Nick, Josh and Carter at home...
we sat waiting for 1.5 hrs waiting to see the triage nurse...
Nurse "He's having a hard time keeping up, he's going in now."
I felt alot of relief.
I KNEW he was having trouble...
I TOLD them that when we got there.

Anyways, they brought him in right away, the RT was waiting.
Respiratory Therapist
So he was hooked up to the monitors...
He was really working to breath, but was holding his Respiratory Rates.
Thank you, Lord
His heart rate was twice as high as it should be.
The doc was coming to see him now, he needed Resp Therapy.
The Doc ordered the Resp therapy, yet another Chest X-Ray and a Pediatrician.
Therapy done...Mason having a bit of an easier time, off to X-Ray.
Back from X-ray...
Doc says Most likely Aspiration Pneumonia.
For those who don't know...
Aspiration Pneumonia is caused by breathing foreign materials (usually food, liquids, vomit, or fluids from the mouth) into the lungs.
The Pediatrician is coming to see him.

The Pediatrician comes...
Pedi "I would usually keep him in the hospital for treatment, but you are medically trained and have the equipment. If you feel you can manage his treatments at home you can go, if you promise to see your Pedi in the next day. If he gets worse needing more treatment than prescribed, he'll need to come back. There is a room for him and the nurses know about him. Actually they remember you."
I reply "Yep, I will go home. I'll come back if he gets any worse. And I know they know who we are."
As I left I couldn't stop thinking...
"Medically trained", more like Mommy trained!

So we are home and I am playing "Medically trained" Mommy
Mason is grumpy and can't take anything by mouth.
He has tried, and he just vomits.
Prayer is Needed.

I'll try to keep you updated!

February 7, 2010

It's been a day...


Quotes of mine lately...
"It's been a morning."
"a day, a night, a week"

This is the way I say...
"I'm grumpy, the kids have been naughty, grumpy and I've had enough today."
I have only just realized this.

Today has been a day.
Which is funny because I don't feel...
"I'm grumpy, the kids have been naughty and I've had enough today."
There have definetly been moments though.
So here is the timeline of my day...
The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.

I have been asleep for 30mins and it feels good!
Still asleep...oh precious sleep.
Mason woke up at 2:30, needed "Didi" (Soother) and to be unrapped by his tubie, which was wrapped around his neck again. He then throws a fit for the next 37 mins, YES 37 MINS. He wants to sleep in my bed. I don't feel like sharing it, I don't feel like worrying about him vomiting in my bed.
Carter woke at 2:41 needing a bottle.
Back to sleep...Zzzz!
Mason wakes up again...uncomfortable and coughing. Rush to the bathroom in case he vomits, No vomit. Good! But he is soaked in Urine...clean him up, change his diaper...make sure it's pointed downward this time. Fill up his feed bag and back to sleep for him in my bed, I am sharing my spot...even though Nick is working and there is a whole other side of the bed. Mason also feels the need to stick his feet on my bum. I have no idea why he does this but it drives me NUTS!
Finally back asleep...ZZZzzz!
Josh awakes to start his day at 6:36...comes in my room,
"Mommy, is it 7 yet?"
We gave him a clock in his room and told him to stay there un
til 7 am, it has yet to work. At least he isn't getting up at 5:30 anymore!
"NO, Josh it is not 7am yet, thanks...Go to the playroom, I'll be down there soon"
Mason has now woken up and is demanding to start the day as well...I very politly say,
"No, you need to sleep some more. Lay down."
Mason then throws a fit and wakes up Carter, who now also wants to start the day!
But I am still tired and know that if we get up now, I will have a very grumpy Mason on my hands.
So I go down stairs get Josh his breakfast and go back upstairs bottle in hand to feed Carter.
Carter is now soaked in urine...great I forgot to change his diaper at 2am. So I clean him up, feed him and continue to battle Mason...
Mason gets his backpack off...A break from feeding till 9am.
7:15am back asleep until 7:40 when Nick arrives home. Mason shoots up from his sleep, eyes still closed, he demands down from my bed to go see Daddy.
Nick goes to bed, get a quick kiss Goodnight/Good Morning before he passes out as he hits the pillow. I am up and starting the day. Time to get Mason's Backpack, his tubie junk cleaned out and ready for the next 20 hrs of feeding. Mason eats yogurt and Josh is having his second breakfast.
Mason's Backpack (Tubie) goes back on for 20 hours of feeding.
Feed Carter, start the coffee and clean up from the boys breakfast. Change diapers, change Pj's since the kids are still sick and not feeling like getting dressed for the day. I start baking...we need snacks in the house and treats for my hubby. Carter is whining at me in the high chair, he's not feeling well.
In the mix of baking Brownies, Gingerbread cookies (I have a cheater mix) and Apple muffins,
Carter is sleeping and I am playing Noah's Ark and reading Noah's Ark book.
Josh is finally allowed to play some DS, Mason won't let it go...that Daddy is sleeping.
All in all we had a few moments that I reached a "BAD" level. Carter is feeling really crappy.
Time to go wake up Nick, he is off for the next three nights. Daddy up holding a very grumpy Carter. Josh and Mommy lying in bed for 10 mins playing DS Super Mario together. Ds away,
feed Josh lunch, Mason doesn't want any. What a Surprise! Carter falls asleep on Daddy for 15 mins before being rudely awaken by Mason screaming in a fit, it is way past nap time.
Mason is napping, Josh is lying on the couch watching TV, Daddy is holding Carter and I am checking my email.
Mason is up, Carter is up and we are all chilling on the couch. Josh is playing then resting in the playroom. None of my kids are themselves.
Superbowl Starts...I have to let it go and let the football go on...It's Superbowl. I am sitting with Mason on me, Josh next to me and Carter is in Nicks lap. SUPERBOWL...yahoo! Then it gets even better, Mason vomits right in my lap...no warning. LOVELY. I clean him up, I clean myself up. I put his backpack back on (He just has it next to him when he naps. When he is done with sleeping he usually sits with his backpack next to him for a while) I get up, get Carter a bottle. Then I finally eat some breakfast/lunch..I often forget to eat.
Nick suggests we move Mason into the now empty room. No more N/Mannys for us. It would be nice to have C not wake up when M throws his fits in the middle of the nigh, nice for him to not be woken up when Josh comes in to inform us it's HIS time to start the day. I agree, but not without worry, Mason and his tubes...I have to check constantly, I have to unwrap him several times a night. But I agree, I need some sleep and maybe this will help. There is a spare twin bed in the room already awaiting us. I feel better about it.
We all go upstairs, start to take the crib apart and move the stuff in the spare bedroom around. I suggest we take the dresser out of the "Spare" room, Mason's New room and put it our room. More room in Mason's room and we NEED it! Mason's backpack comes off until 8pm for his second break from feeding. Mason's crib is put back together.
The boys are just helping us out...Mason's trying on my shoes from under my bed...Josh is laying in my bed playing DS AGAIN! Carter is laying in his crib playing. We have decided to move our Room around. Hey wait..we have a spare TV...old but it works! A TV in our room? Oh how nice would that be? Nick goes into action to make it happen. It has been a very long time since we have had a TV in our room.
We realize its 7pm...Mason is so tired and grumpy. I start some speghetti O's for Josh's dinner and Nick watchs Pocoyo with Mason and Carter. While watching Pocoyo, Mason asks for a "Buba" (Bottle) He has done this several times in the past week. I hesitate, b/c he is sick, his swallowing function is so much worse when he is sick. It can be dangerous. But I decide okay, he can have a bottle. I give him a bottle, Pocoyo finished and upstairs N, M and I go, so does the "Buba". We are about to put our little boy to bed in his own room. How great and scary at the same time. Mason lays down, I have the "Buba" in my hand. I think that I can get it away from him, that he might of forgot about it. We turn off the light, he asks for it. I hand it to him. I then loose hold of my emotions. I have to walk into Josh's room (Josh is still downstairs eating dinner) I cry b/c Mason has been trying to be "Normal" like other toddlers lately. He is noticing he is different. It hurts, why can't he just be "normal"? The bottle is just another thing he is trying. It's a good thing...sometimes. I then give Carter his meds and feed him a bottle, he falls alseep. Ohhhh...Precious sleep.
7:35 Josh tells us he is full, I say eat a little more...he had barely touched his dinner. "You can have a piece of Brownie if you do?" Nick brings him the brownie. 2mins later Josh comes up from the playroom where he is sitting at his picnic table. I can't eat this? I saw the look on his face...NICK, he is going to Vomit...Nick then picks him up and stares for a couple seconds...second guessing? "NICK, GO, SINK, NOW" he doesn't make it there. Beautiful.
Speghetti O vomit..all over the floor, the cupboards, inside the sink cupboard...the list goes on. Vomit is every where. But Josh's tummy feels better! So we medicate him up...Gravol. I love whoever invented Gravol. Bedtime for Josh.
Mason gets medicated and hooked up (Tubie) for the night.
All the kids are in bed, although I had to go help Mason back to sleep twice in this hour.
Work on our Bedroom. Nick gets the TV set up
...I call Shaw Direct to set up the TV in our BEDROOM. Our bedroom only consists of two small book cases, two dressers, one queen size bed, a shelf thing, a trunk, ONE crib and a TV...Oh glorious TV. But of course being us, TV doesn't happen without a hitch. We get the TV in our bedroom working...only to have the two other TV's in the house to stop working. So we call back Shaw Direct. One TV has the plugs mixed up now that we have a third TV working...the other Playroom TV just happened to have loose wires at exactly the same time the other TV stopped working. OY! But everything is working now. Carter is still sleeping, Nick is washing dishes and I am sitting on my bed on Computer.
I check Facebook, emails and Start Blogging.
Nick is still down stairs working on the kitchen. Mason is up another three times this hour. Josh and Carter Sleep...Oh Sleep...Precious SLEEP!
I hear the bath running...the Bath Running? My wonderful hubby comes to retrieve me...This is what 10 pm is for me. It has been over 6 months since I had a bath. I put my blog down and took time for my hubby and for myself.

Bath finished, Mason needed to be settled again. I start typing again. Nick fills up Mason's Backpack, Feed Bag and I am wrapping up my blog. We are waiting for Carter...he will be up any minute now for a feed. Oh wait there's Mason again. Coughing, gagging. OY! I am still wrapping up my blog...in my bedroom...my bedroom where I can use my OWN bathroom, watch TV and sit in my bed on the computer. I am in such a good mood right now! Mason needs settling 2 more times.
Finish Blog, feed Carter...settle Mason for what seems like the millionth time and then BED...SLEEP??? At least there are two of us tonight!

SO there you have it. That was some of our day. Just a little snip of what three little boys bring to a household!

February 6, 2010



So we have been having some "Behaviour" issues with Mason.
We knew that he has some Sensory Intregration issues...
But EVERYTHING just came to a halt with development.
All of a sudden, Mason is quite developmentally delayed in several areas.
Many "Theory's" have been used...
Autism WAS one of them.
Nick and I started working on the "items" Mason wasn't doing...Socially.
He wasn't quite getting it...
We got really scared, is it A?
We were all doing research on Sensory Issues...
My Mother-in-Law stumbled across a website on Autism...
Autism and Sensory Integration Disorder are quite commonly found to coincide.
D found that Fish Oil is quite commonly used in Autism and other Syndromes...
I didn't really think it was going to help...
I didn't read much about it to be honest.
But we have been desperate to get Mason to reach back...
To engage in conversation that wasn't just the same O.C. question.
To see him smile again...
Stop the screaming...
Stop the physical violence to us and himself.
So of course we tried it...
We bought the best known Fish oil with the highest concentrate of Goodness.
It's not all that expensive either!
We saw a change within Mason...
About four days after starting the fish oil, he was looking at me.
He started to copy my sounds, and then my words.
Mason has at least doubled in his Vocabulary in the last two weeks.
He has also been a lot more calm...
He has stop physically abusing himself.
The 20+ tantrums have gone to about 5 a day.
I am no longer having to put him "away" out of "harms" way.
He is sitting in the naughty corner, able to calm himself down.
Three weeks ago, I thought we were in for the long haul.
I thought I was loosing my sweet boy.
Fish Oil has HELPED my SON!
it sounds funny when I say it
But it has truly made a difference.
I never thought about the fact that it is SO important for Babies to get fats...
Mason was deprived of proper Nutrition for so long and in the most important year.
It is no wonder that his brain was starving...
Its of NO wonder that his brain is feeling full for the first time.
Just like his tummy felt full for the first time in Feb, 2009! When he got his Tubie.
I just wanted to share...
Share our NEW Mason and Our New Josh!
The NEW peace in our house.
There are still issues at hand with Joshua and Mason...
But we are so happy with the progress in such a short time.
I was able to read not 1 BUT 4 books before bed tonight with all three boys at the same time...
1 book before Fish oil didn't happen.
We are also giving Josh fish oil and believe it has helped him to calm down a little!
Josh never talked to me before, I tried to get him to tell me what he was thinking...
ANYTHING would have been great.
Josh is now having conversations with me...

Josh, "Mommy, I am thinking..."
Mommy, "What are you thinking about?"
Josh, "Ummm...the playground...going down the slide."

I know that Fish Oil isn't the answer to everything...
But for now it is working for many things.
Who knew...Fish Oil?
My Grandmother told me we should give it to the boys quite sometime ago.
But I didn't hunt down a Fish Oil that Josh would take.
I didn't see the "Value" in Fish Oil.
Just another thing of the Past...
More Valuable then we thought,
Fish Oil.


Baby Bronson has been on my mind all last night and all day today.
I actually couldn't sleep last night.
I have been checking Hourly for updates...
For Baby B.
Join me in Praying for this Family and for Baby B.
I know that thousands of people Pray for Mason and our Family.
I am praying tonight that there are thousands to pray for Baby Bronson.
They are in my heart...
Check their Blog for the updates...



I have been following this Family for the past couple of days.
Their was an accident at their home...
Baby B is in the PICU in Critical Condition.
Please Pray for Baby Bronson


Just Pray...Pray for them like you Pray for Us and For Mason

February 5, 2010


I have been in deep thought today.
I think it's because I had a nap!
Thanks, A. I needed it!

As per the usual lately,
I was REFLECTING about the past six months.
Just the past six months...
NO more guilty or sad feelings needed.

As a family we got to a point were we had to
"Air our Dirty Laundry"
Not that its really dirty laundry...
Just laundry.

We were unable to keep going the way we were,
we ARE drowning in debt with nowhere left to go...
No way to feed Mason ourselves anymore.
Which is very Heartbreaking and Humbling feeling
It's not like we were hiding at all...
We were telling
Just no one was really understanding.
We hoped that Mason, that our Family could get the Government's help.
Hoped they WOULD pay for his medical needs.
They couldn't fit us in anywhere.
I believe it's because we were just "hoping"

And then there was a Prayer by someone special...
To be honest I had given up praying for help.
"This" Prayer was answered...
This Prayer was not the Prayer I had been Praying.
Not the outcome I had Prayed for.
But it was more than I had Prayed for...
it was Support
Just not the support we had been looking for.

"to give aid or encouragement to a person or cause"
It comes in many different forms.
We have received:
Meals or Food, I never thought this would help as much as it has.
Money, We have received money...it helped us get some bills payed.
LAUNDRY FOLDING, This is a huge one!
People who are genuine and will just listen to our struggles, without judgement.
Diapers & toilet paper & Clothes
and the list could go on...
Support HAS come in many forms.

Coffee has been ONE our lifelines.
A percolater gets filled with water and coffee grounds...
You plug it in and turn it on and you get a VERY perfect cup of Coffee at the end.
I received a "New" Old Percolater from some very special people today.
They said, we cleaned it up all nice for you...
I know they had in Love.
But I took the Percolater and cleaned it myself...
Taking all the pieces apart...
Scrubing, Boiling, Scrubing...
I have got it almost to brand new state.
You see it's not that they hadn't cleaned it well enough...
It's that I value it...I value them.
It maybe "old" and no good for someone else,
but for me?
It holds great Value.

What bothers me is I was in a state of...
Not Valuing what God had in store.
There was Prayer and Support!
But I was blind to see that it could help.
I felt Guilty for any help offered...
I felt I should be able to do it.
So I turned it down.
Through that "Prayer" I could say I was Humbled.
I was touched...
I didn't feel so hopeless.
People did care...
God was there.

The Bible
It should be our lifeline and my lifeline and your lifeline...
The Bible is already full of Ingredients.
All you have to do is plug in and you will receive the wisdom and clarity from God.
You see I didn't even bother opening it up...
I didn't see the value in scripture...the value in prayer.
The Value in HIM.
He is often not Valued for his Greatness.
I didn't see Clearly how we were so Blessed in our lives...
He was answering Prayers...
Just in his time and his way.
He is most Valuable.

I did know there had been Miracles in Mason and our Family...
I just hadn't put it all together yet.

Scripture has done it for me.
Thanks to that VERY Special person who finally got through to me.
I have told you there are dark times...
I was tired and weak.
But now I am STRONG and I see.

"I can do all things through him who strengthens me"
~Phillippians 4:13

February 4, 2010



My little boys have spots...
They have Hand, Foot, & Mouth Virus.
It is highly contagious...
If you are a child.
Nick was hoping to have it so he could stay home from work...
The Doc said, you wont get it!
You can go to work...
Oh the sad face he made!
A wish to have spots, to not go to work means...
Do you dislike your J.O.B?
I love mine! J & M & C are a Full time Experience!
Now N & D...
Get your act together so you can Quit your J.O.B.


Josh was sick today,
He stayed home from school.
He was in a mood to lay around...
I went searching for him to feed him lunch...
NO WHERE to be found?
No answer
SO as my heart started to leap out of my Chest I heard...
"I'm in here, MOMMY"
So I followed the little voice...

I found him...
In his play tunnel on the couch, laying on a pillow!
Too busy playing DS, which he usually only gets for 1/2 hour a day...
Hiding from Mommy, so he could keep playing!
How CUTE my Big MONSTER is!
Seriously, he put a pillow under the tunnel!
LOL...Oh the memories that are being made!


Mason is a MONSTER.
He has NO sense of Danger or Fear...
For months now he has been climbing, everything he can!
He has gotten too SMART for his own Good.
He is now climbing all over the Stove, Counters, any tables, chairs, doors, beds, cribs...
Everything in our house has a basket or bin to go in, then the baskets/bins get put away on shelves...
I have a touch of O.C.D.
Mason has figured out that the Bins make a perfect stool when empty and upside down.
They allow him to climb anything and everything!
This is where I found him after looking for Josh...(He had been playing with the shoes)

Hat bin empty and turned over...
Mason three feet up, trying to unlock the front door with SpiderMan Boots already on...
Mommy "Mason, What are you doing?"
Mason signs and replies...
"GO, GO, GO"
Dimples Out...He is going somewhere!
So he thinks!
Monster Mason was taken down and Red bin removed...
Mason doesn't get quiet very often...
So when he is quiet you know he is climbing!
It's just a matter of catching him before he falls.
Monster MASON!


My little Cookie Monster!
It is so great to have a Baby who may not love Baby food...
Arrowroots are my favorite cookie...
Josh loved em...
Mason hated them....
And Carter.....
Well is the Cookie Monster!
He loves...loves...loves them.
Its the first time I have seen him upset about something getting taken from him...
So I retrieve his cookie that he dropped out of his reach...
And I get this...

A perfect little Cookie Monster!


Okay, so I forgot your B-Day...
So you get this....

Happy 29th B-day!!!

Ps...the boys wanted to sing H B to you to...but melt downs happened after dinner...
Forgive them...they are sickies

Good Night to ALL...

February 3, 2010

The Spots are Back! Ugg...


Oh the spots...
First Carter...
Spots, Fever, and Not wanting to eat.
Second Mason and Third Josh.
Who knows how they are going to feel?
The Spots are not itchy...
But they are blistered!
I am voting for....
Hand, Foot, and Mouth Virus!
Doctor tomorrow to confirm.
Bottom line keeps your kids away from my Kids!!!
We are on Quarantine until further Notice...LOL


Today Old Emotions were "Made" to be brought up.
I used to have very little emotion.
I am Hard sometimes.
I never used to cry.
I moved on.
The Past is the Past.
Since My Children, I have learned that some Emotions are good to show.
I now am able to show Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, and Compassion.
I am living in the Present...
I like it that way.
Those who in live in the Past never see the Present or Dream for the Future.
I DO live in the Present and I DO Dream for the Future.

"Children have neither Past nor Future; they enjoy the Present, which very few of us do."
~Jean De La Bruyere

"In my anguish I cried to the Lord, and he answered by setting me free. The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"
~Psalms 118:5-6

February 2, 2010

A little Bit of Everything...


Toys having been Driving me nuts!
Josh really only likes his cars...
Mason doesn't understand what toys are...he likes to kick them.
Carter has five buckets of Infant toys...he has just a few that are actually different
And yet we have so MANY different kinds of toys...

Modern Day toys SUCK!
Just thinking about the toys that are at "Toys R us" makes me CRAZY!
Why are they sooo Crappy?
When I was young Fisher Price toys were simple...
The "Modern Day" Shape Sorter has 9 different shapes....
Major Sensory overload...why would a child use their imagination?
They have to many shapes to try to figure out...
The "Retro" Shape Sorter has 3 different shapes.
It is a bucket, that allows children to imagine and use it for all different games.
Why are these toys gone?

With all this being said...
I have started hunting for "Retro" toys.
The Infant Development Center has said that's what we need for Mason.
The simple toys are WHAT every Child needs.
Our Children need time to be Children.
This has been the recuring theme playing in my head...

If you have Retro toys that where the staples when you were kids and...
Are you willing to give them up? I wouldn't be...
But if you are?
Call me!

So Big "Crappy" Toy Sale at my house...Looking for something?
I probably have it!


Tomorrow we meet with Mason's Child Psychologist for his "Assessment"
It is heartbreaking that Mason at 22 months need a "Psyc"
But I have come to realize...
"Wouldn't I need a "Psyc" if I was going through what he is"
I think so.

In any case, please pray that it goes well and that Dr. Blank (That's his Name) can put his finger on what we need to do to help Mason.
Dr. Blank seems like our last hope to actually get all of Mason's Doctors on the same page.
To get everyone working together.

It is going to be a very long day for us Tomorrow and a long week to Follow.
We will be going back on Feb 10, to find out his "PLAN"

A friend of our's who has recently really stepped out and Supported us now needs our SUPPORT!
Terry's Father had Heart Surgery on Jan 25.
While in Surgery he had a "Mild Heart Attack" He was taken to the ICU after the Surgery ended in Stable Condition.
Jan 26, Since then he has not been coherent.
On Jan 31, Terry's father fell from his hospital bed and broke both his hips. He now requires a double hip replacement, this is a serious High Risk Surgery. He will be having this Surgery as soon as he is stable enough to do so.
Please Pray for Terry's Father and the rest of the family.
Update you as soon I know.

Good night or Good Day to all...

February 1, 2010

Mason's Words- The new voice in our house


"Mommy, Mommy, UP! DOWN!
This is how Mason now tells me when he would like to start the day.
The day used to start with a hit in my face or a pinch of my back.

"OOW Daddy" (Where's Daddy)
"Daddy at work"
"OOW Daddy" (Where's Daddy)
"Daddy at work"

"OOW Daddy" (Where's Daddy)
"Daddy at work"
This has been the extent of my conversations with Mason for the past six months, the "daddy"
just gets replaced with "Nana," "Grandpa," "Oow," (Josh) "Baby," "Mommy" (Even though he is sitting right on me.)

Our conversations have changed in the past couple of months...
There has been lots of Frustration

I was told to use more Sign Language.
Mason has learned many Signs in the past couple of months...

To try to have a back and forth conversation that didn't involve Mason just saying the same thing over and over and over has been trying.

But last week after teaching Mason the Sign "Help" for six weeks...
I heard "ELP"
I turned around to see my little boy, who has been known to just use pinches to get my attention was SIGNING and SAYING "ELP"
I was in a state of Shock, Excitement, and a "Now What" feeling.

Mason shook me out of my "State"
"Mommy, ELP"
So I went and helped him with tears rolling down my cheeks...
He had the BIGGEST dimpled smile.

Mason has started to copy us a little more each day.
Yesterday Nick said to me..."Mason has a VOICE"
There is another noise in this CRAZY house...
Along with that Noise comes precious dimples.
It has been a really really long time since I have seen them...
They were really needed.

I started going to a course for Speech.
I realize we have a long way to go with Mason.
But we have already seen leaps and bounds.
The work and wait is worth it.
When Mason said "Mommy" for the first time at 18 months...the wait was worth it.

I have realized that I need to listen to Josh more....
His voice has been lost in the past two years.
I want to hear his Funny Stories...
I am missing them.

Just a challenge for you and I...
Next time you say something to your Child:
1. Get on their level...
don't look down at them
2. Observe them...
what are they doing? thinking?
3. Wait...
wait Five Seconds
4. If they haven't looked or talked to you after 5 seconds...
Initiate some form of contact

Our Children are still Children.
We need to slow our lives down so we can all hear and enjoy one another.
What are our lives without our Family? Our Children?
What if your son or daughter wasn't here tomorrow?
Would you have said everything you wanted to say to them?
Would you have many memories of there words?
Did you tell them how much you love them?
How great they are?

There are voices in all our homes.
Are you hearing how sweet they are?
I am.
I am also realizing just how much sweeter they are when we LISTEN to them.

I am promising to ALL of my Boys to try harder.
To listen to all their words...
To slow down, give them the time to talk and listen to their hearts.

Mason's newest word
"Hehehe, DING DONG, Hehehe"
The joy one can have over a word...

Life can be so simple...How simple is your life?

Jesus said, "Let anyone with ears listen!" Matthew 11:15