As I have been creating this blog, there has been so much reflection.
Josh, he is such a handful! But I couldn’t live without him.
I feel so much Heartache for what he has had to deal with these last two years.
Never knowing who is coming and going...is Mommy & Mason going to be home?
Who will be there in the middle of the night?
Josh knows that Mason is special, and he knows Mason has a tube.
But how much can a four year old really understand?
God Bless his heart, he doesn’t understand that Mason doesn’t understand.
I think he would like it if Mason could just play with him.
Josh has so much love in his heart, he loves Carter more than anything else.
He has been through so much, as I reflect in what it has been to be Josh this past two years, I have realized that there is nothing more important than for to provide a stable environment for him.
We have decided to put Josh in Surrey Christian School.
We know that we can’t really afford it, but God has put it on our hearts.
God will provide the way.
Reflections of Mason, OY OY!
These past two years have been the hardest years of my life.
I feel like I let my son’s health slip...I let the Doctors push us around.
Mason did have something wrong with him, I wasn’t crazy like EVERYONE was saying.
Mason has taught everyone around us what the word “MIRACLE” means.
I am working hard to help Mason as much as I can.
I feel like I am falling so short of what he needs.
I which the “Universal” Health Care of Canada, would just help us.
Why must Mason suffer, waiting, not understanding what is going on?
Mason has alot of frustration,
I feel his frustration all day everyday.
Reflections of Mason, OY OY!
When Carter was born everything changed.
When the doctors told me something was wrong I cried.
When I couldn’t cuddle Carter or make him comfortable, I weeped.
“NO GOD NO”
“I will NOT have two with tubies”
“Lord help Carter”
The Doctors where able to help him, thanks to Mason’s struggles.
He is on a lot of Meds, But he is my chubby baby...
He is doing well...thanks to Mason’s struggles.
I pray daily that Carter will continue to do well...NO more tubies allowed in my house.
Carter, a happy, chubby, wide-eyed little boy.
I questioned God why he gave me more...
I know now that C is to add more Joy into our lives.
When I have had enough....ENOUGH
Carter smiles at me...And I cry tears of thankfulness...
He brings a sense of peace in our hearts.
Has been the person,
I cry with,
Nick has aged...LOL...sorry hun!
We have been through so much.
The odds are against us.
Many worry about our Marriage.
I couldn’t live with out Nick.
He is my love, he has my heart.
Nick is there when no other human being is...
He understands, he doesn’t judge.
Nick is a father...
We are his reason.
Nick is my love.
I see my reflection,
Three boys and a little Angel have helped create my “mommy” figure...LOL
A figure I am working on.
My skin reflects my feelings real well these days...
My emotions or lack of being able to control them reflect what my heart has been through.
I used to be able to hide...
I have learned life lessons well beyond my years, I have aged 10 years at least.
I have reflected on myself as a Wife & Mother,
Am I a good Wife?
What can I do to do better...
It gets dark sometimes...
Did I let J & M down?
Would M be this way if I had pushed sooner?
“How do you do it”
“He is my son...this is my life...God gave me this Blessing”
“What would you do”
It blows my mine to think of how Mommy’s can...
I could never hand my son over.
This is my family.
I love J & M & C.
They are my REASON!
I don’t care what people think, what people say...
I have no time for Drama.
I am going to do whatever it takes to give my Son’s what they need.
I am a Wife...I am a Mom
I have not lost...I have gained.
God is using me...
There have been reflections...