January 26, 2011


So I lost it on Saturday.
I had have had enough and I needed to get it all out.

I have found myself lost lately.
I lost my will drive to continue fighting, I am tired.

I feel like I won a HUGE fight and I should be SO happy.
And please don't get me wrong I am happy, but tired happy.
We won the fight and I just need some time to build up for the next.
I know that it is just really starting and I just can't wait any longer...
I need it to start now.
I just want to be all set up and for life to get easier.

I am at peace. 
Church, I went to church on Sunday.
It had been awhile and it was SO good.
I just felt the spirit flow over me with peace.
And I have felt quite relieved.
I am thinking about finally getting baptized this february.
I think it's time, this is about me and it can finally be about me.
There are no babies in my belly...
The stress hasn't been so bad this week.
I am so truly grateful for everyone's support and everyone's hugs, whether IRL or not!

Carter had his appointment at Children's Hospital today.
It was nothing but good news, which was a breath of fresh air!
We left being told that we had a "really great healthy boy".
His Sandifer's Syndrome is no more as long as he stays on his GERD meds.
He has a good amount of fat on his body and he CAN swallow thin liquids.
So in the weeks to come we will be working hard to get Carter off thickened liquids.
I am screaming joy inside today, we all are.

Just a little note about Carter and his helmet.
Most people know that Carter got a very serious concussion at the beginning of the month, and well he is still not healed.
One of the side effects of his concussion is just being uncoordinated, because of this he is falling ALOT.
Needless to say he has hit his head several more times, and passed out on Saturday again. 
On Sunday he fell several times, a couple were really bad.
He bit through his tongue in one hit and chipped two teeth in another.
So to the Dr. we went.
It seems his poor brain hasn't had the time to heal properly because of all the repeated hits.
So it was decided that he will be wearing a helmet for 1-3 weeks to allow his brain to heal.
He looks pretty cute with his bike helmet on.
We opted not to payed the $75 for a one time use helmet and just used the bike helmet instead.
The only problem with the helmet so far? 
Carter believes he should be riding his bike all day.
I kinda find it cute hearing him yell at high pitches "bik" all day.
Seriously, I love it.
Communication is really good people!

So today ends positive and I am ready for what tomorrow will bring. 
I am sure it's going to have it's challenges, but I am ready.
We are ready.

Isn't he just to cute for words!


  1. I will be praying for you and your family. Congrats on getting baptized! You are right, he is too cute ;)

  2. He is so cute in his helmet!!
    So happy for the good news. How exciting to know that he CAN be weaned from thickened liquids!! I truly hope that you have a less stressful week through this one and next!

  3. What a heart stealer he is going to be!! He is a cutie!! I am so happy/relieved that the testing was positive and showed good things! I pray for you often and think of you a lot!

  4. So happy that Carter's appointment went well and you got great news - what a relief!! Carter sure is a cutie!

  5. Could he be any more adorable?! Too cute! So glad you got some good news in the midst of your whirlwind life.

  6. He is an absolute doll.

    Just read your story via Miranda's blog. What a lot to deal with! I can't imagine how hard it all must be. Will think good thoughts for you and your family.

  7. What a cutie!!! Sending you & your fam good thoughts.

  8. Yay for Carter! I'm glad to hear that things are going well, love. Praying for you and your fam. :) <3


  9. So cute!! Thinking of your family.

  10. I don't believe you are ever lost if you find your way to church. Keep the faith, God always has good things in store for those who just keep perservering. May God continue to be with you, now and always!

  11. Oh honey, he's so cute. Many prayers said for your family and especially their tough momma.