March 22, 2011

Mason is three.

It has been three years.
Three years since our lives were completely changed forever.
Three years since I thought my son was healthy, 1090 days since I discovered he was not.
It has been three years since I have averaged more than 3-4 hours of sleep a night.
Three years since "normal" existed in our world.
Three Years since Mason was just a teeny baby sitting in my arms, as I dreamed about what his life could become. 
Three years of struggle, hardship and pain.

It has been three years.
Three years since Mason came into our lives and changed who we were and are.
The growth, the bond, the strength we have achieved, all from Mason.
Our marriage and family tested more than most in a life time, has been made stronger with deeper love.
Most important Mason has taught us, we are not alone.
God is in control of everything, we just need to trust.

Mason taught us that finances are just that finances.
He is the reason that we learned money will come and go, there is no reason to fight, or worry about it.
God provides.

Mason has taught us that there is light in the dark. It may be hard to see at times, but its there.
Mason has made us grow, and there is so much more growth left.

Mason's "terrible two's" has been the hardest year so far.
Moving yet again.
Financial burdens
The following are the Diagnosis we received in the order we received them in the past year:
Oromotor Dyspraxia
Sensory Processing Disorder.
Anxiety Disorder ( Mason and myself)
Non Restorative Sleep Syndrome
Chronic Lung Disease
Development delays become more severe.
Mason stopped eating orally.
Expressive Language Disorder
Impulsive and harmful behaviours.
Restless Leg Syndrome
Smith-Magenis Syndrome
PDD-NOS (Autism)
Possible Sleep Apnea and seizures.
Motility (dumping issues)
Possible transition from G-tube to GJ-tube is being talked about. 
Getting asked to move again due to Mason's noise and behaviour.

This has been the hardest year of my life, depression creeped in.
The amount of information that our family was faced with this year was "out of body".
I personally have felt lost in the craziness of our life.
This has also been the biggest year of growth and support in my life.

My motto is no longer,
"It is what it is".
I now rock out : "In him I trust". 
This has been the biggest change for me in the past year.

I am ready for Mason's third year of life. 
We are ready to take these "diagnosis" and show them who is boss.
There are many changes to come this next year, and I am finding myself very ready for them.

But most of all I am ready to try to learn how to help Mason.
And Josh and Carter.
We all are going to need to learn how to deal with it.

To Mason,
I love you more than words or actions can or have said.
I wish I could take all the pain and suffering away.
I am happy that you are three, it has all gone so fast.
Happy Birthday Spiderman.

Love your Mama.

1 comment:

  1. That little man sure is lucky to have a mama like you! Hopefully this year will be one where you learn more and more about how you can help Mason. I hope that you also get some time for you. You know we're all here for ya!! Glad Mason had a great birthday too. <3