Mason is three.

It has been three years.

Three years since our lives were completely changed forever.

Three years since I thought my son was healthy, 1090 days since I discovered he was not.

It has been three years since I have averaged more than 3-4 hours of sleep a night.

Three years since "normal" existed in our world.

Three Years since Mason was just a teeny baby sitting in my arms, as I dreamed about what his life could become. 

Three years of struggle, hardship and pain.

It has been three years.

Three years since Mason came into our lives and changed who we were and are.

The growth, the bond, the strength we have achieved, all from Mason.

Our marriage and family tested more than most in a life time, has been made stronger with deeper love.

Patience.

Most important Mason has taught us, we are not alone.

God is in control of everything, we just need to trust.

Mason taught us that finances are just that finances.

He is the reason that we learned money will come and go, there is no reason to fight, or worry about it.

God provides.

Mason has taught us that there is light in the dark. It may be hard to see at times, but its there.

Mason has made us grow, and there is so much more growth left.

Mason's "terrible two's" has been the hardest year so far.

Moving yet again.

Financial burdens

The following are the Diagnosis we received in the order we received them in the past year:

Oromotor Dyspraxia

Sensory Processing Disorder.

Anxiety Disorder ( Mason and myself)

Pnuemonias

Non Restorative Sleep Syndrome

Chronic Lung Disease

Development delays become more severe.

Mason stopped eating orally.

Expressive Language Disorder

Impulsive and harmful behaviours.

Restless Leg Syndrome

Smith-Magenis Syndrome

PDD-NOS (Autism)

Possible Sleep Apnea and seizures.

Motility (dumping issues)

Possible transition from G-tube to GJ-tube is being talked about. 

Getting asked to move again due to Mason's noise and behaviour.

This has been the hardest year of my life, depression creeped in.

The amount of information that our family was faced with this year was "out of body".

I personally have felt lost in the craziness of our life.

This has also been the biggest year of growth and support in my life.

My motto is no longer,

"It is what it is".
I now rock out : "In him I trust". 

This has been the biggest change for me in the past year.

I am ready for Mason's third year of life. 

We are ready to take these "diagnosis" and show them who is boss.

There are many changes to come this next year, and I am finding myself very ready for them.

But most of all I am ready to try to learn how to help Mason.
And Josh and Carter.
We all are going to need to learn how to deal with it.

To Mason,
I love you more than words or actions can or have said.
I wish I could take all the pain and suffering away.
I am happy that you are three, it has all gone so fast.
Happy Birthday Spiderman.

Love your Mama.

The URL www.SearsFam.com is grounded for 60 days.

That's right people...

The URL www.SearsFam.com is grounded for 60 days.

I didn't get an email to tell me it was renewal time...

they said that sometimes happens.

Why me OH WHY ME..lol

So since I was 19 days late my URL is locked away in a vault for at least 60 days.

And then I have to jump on and try to get it before someone else does.

Moral of the story...

Please use www.DanaSears.com to get to my blogs!

Oh and I dislike GoDaddy.com ALOT today.

Where have I/we been?

I know, I know.

It's been quite awhile, we have been busy.

Here's whats up!

Carter:

- Has had an EVERYTHING infection through out the last 6 weeks. Almost better? Here's hoping anyways!

- Is no longer my baby, in a matter of two days he formed into a dependant early terrible twos toddler. I miss my baby. The head banging temper tantrums that are coming from this child are slightly cute though. I am sure this cuteness we find in his tantrums will be short lived!

- He is finally on completely thin liquids COMPLETELY! This is huge people!

He is such a stinker and I am NOT ready for him to be a big boy yet.

I find myself screaming inside, SOMEONE HOLD ME! LOL

Mason:

- Mason is having some troubles with his health this last month so we have an emergency GI meeting this Monday. New meds and talk of going to a GJ-tube are on the list of topics.

- We have received his appointment for his EEG, looking for the seizures they think he maybe having. Its in early May.

- Still waiting for the appointment for the Sleep study, MRI and Chronic Pain Clinic.

- So many days and nights have been spent talking with so many options discussed. What are we going to do about his therapy? What are we going to do and what are we going to get for funding?

- We have decided with the help of the Child advocate that Night Nursing care is the best option for him and the family. So thats what they are going to be asking for. I am really unsure if that is exactly what we would like. Huh. 

-Mason will have a behavioural consultant that will be coming in the home soon to help us and also show Mason's BI what to do. This is all so new to us. All we know and this is the thought from everyone that Mason will go NO where until we get his behaviours under control. 

Josh:

- Josh had EXPENSIVE dental surgery this month. The poor boy got my genes in the mouth department. (I already have a partial denture at 26, scary I know)

- Had a better month at school and has Spring Break coming up...Wonder what we are all going to do?

- Josh is at the beginning of reading, and it is so amazing. He just picked it up. Crazy how old they get and how fast!

Nick:

- Been working loads of over time again...Blah. But we need him too so...

- Got himself some running shoes and decided to run 3km the first day back after not running for months. The worst part...he wasn't to affected by it. Again, SOMEONE HOLD ME, as if that is going to happen for me.

- In other news...Nick is boring so there is no more news.

Dana:

- I have been dealing with my health over the last few months, my health sucks.

For those who don't know, which is most of you I was diagnosed with Crohnes when I was fifteen. They then changed my diagnosis to Ulcerative Colitis and then back to Crohnes. SoI really don't know what I exactly have..but let me tell you what ever it is...it is NO longer in remission. I had a few troubles after I had Josh loosing 45 pounds in just 4 weeks, but got meds and got it under control. Since then I have had nothing, until now. I have been suffering with nausea and pain for a few months now. I guess I had a little flare up last week and ended up in the Emerge to get some fluids, they would have liked to keep me so I could see the GI alot sooner. My appointment had been for July and the ER Dr. said I couldn't wait that long. I agree! But I am not able to go into the hospital for a week or so at this point. So I went home and have been doing ok. My appointment has been moved up to April 12th and I am really happy about it! I am ALOT more tired, it's not just my brain thats tired anymore..my body is SO tired. But I just tell myself, "suck it up princess" and I seem to be ok! 

- Paper..I have SO much paper coming from every direction to work on. I just re organized all Masons Medical files and papers, since the advicate needs them. I am in the middle of filling out 37 pages of a paperwork for them as well. And then there is Josh's school papers for enrolment for next year, as well as we are asking for assistance to keep him there. Still in a fight with the government about the $6000 owing. When really they should owe us THOUSANDS!

- Blog design business is doing well and I am now working for another HUGE designer 

April Showers. This has been a huge blessing as Money has/is so tight! But it is another thing on my plate...good thing its something I enjoy! 

- I got a great pair of running shoes that have yet to come out of the box...hoping I get up the nerves soon.

- THE HOUSE HUNT IS STILL ON! We have yet to find a house that we like that the owners haven't turned around to decide they are selling instead. Ugh. God will provide a house...he will! 

Coming Events:

Mason's 3rd Birthday is March 15!

- Gifts of jeans in size three would be lovely...(cough..Family are you listening??) LOL

Dana's 27th Birthday is March 23rd and I am feeling alot older. There seems to be a feeling of a huge difference in 26 to 27. 

-I need a gift too..LOL NEED. Ok I don't need...but I really WANT this.

I WANT it to say, "In him I trust" on the front & "For those I luv" on the backside. Also with the Sturdy Fine link chain. (Hint Hint) 

::wink wink:: 

Did you get the mesage? LOL 

*Want is not Need. And I really don't need. Which kinda stinks..LOL Love you all anyways :) 

Since I seem to be rambling...I am going to stop.

Check in for my next post which is HALF written...

Topic: "Retarded" 

Another reason I love this Man.

Today was a follow up appointment for Mason at the GI clinic.

These appointments are at least two hours long and I usually have to go to them on my own with Mason.

But we have a lovely girl who took care of Carter for us today so Nick and I go to take Mason together ALONE!

So going into this appointment we see the GI Dr. an OT, Dietician and a social worker.

It is alot of people who need to have their time to speak and get info.

Mason only needs to be in the room while the Dr. is talking and doing his exam, after that Mason  has had enough. 

The other people only need me...so I sent Nick out of the room with Mason.

They could go for a walk, play out in the waiting room or whatever...

So off they went!

I get through all the different discussions and my brain is now fried...

 and its about an hour and a half later.

I finish up with the thank yous and goodbyes.

I go to put everything in my bag and see my phone flashing so I pick it up.

There was 28 messages all from Nick and Mason:

Do you have the other shoe?

Found it

Coffee now or later?

What's up?

R u still in there?

Dana

Why don't you respond?

Hello

R u alive?

Have you been kidnapped?

I'm getting worried...

Is everything ok?

Dana

Dana

Where are you?

Your coffee is getting cold

When are you coming back?

Have you left us forever?

We are sorry for whatever we have done please come back.

We miss you

Have you fallen?

Can you get up?

Are you sure?

Ok I think we are going home now.

I guess it's just me and the boys now.

We will miss you.

I hope you will miss us too.

Needless to say I came out of a stressful and NOT fun appointment laughing to a cold coffee.

Oh and the "fallen" joke is a reference to me falling down the stairs yesterday...

Yes, I hurt and bad.

Oh how I love him.

The Last week.

Last friday I finally had it.

I called the company we are working with for Mason and told them I was hiring someone.

Mason has this money that is just sitting there...waiting for everyone to get the game together.

I have and feel completely out of control of our lives right now.

I have no idea what is going to happen in the next few months.

I have no idea where we are going to live...

if we are going to get the funding that Mason really needs...

And what therapy is going to look like. 

Everything is out of control.

So I took control of one thing.

I hired this lovely girl.

She actually took charge a couple of times and dealt with Mason's meltdowns great.

It's only the second day,

I am just hoping that she is okay with our crazy family...lol

Hopefully this works out for as long as it needs to work out.

Today I feel a little lighter.

And you know what, it feels really good.

I actually have been able to cook the boys dinner two nights in a row, NOT in the microwave. 

It maybe silly, but I cried tonight.

Just thinking about how great it was to be able to cook something on the stove.

I miss the "normal" that used to be our life.

I am just so looking forward to being able to do somethings that a Mom should be able to do.

I don't think I will take for granted actually being able to cook wholesome food for my family again.

I also got to go to the bathroom by myself TWICE today...lol

It's going to be weird always having people in my house, but I guess it's the new "us" for this season of our lives.

So we were on the news today. 

Kinda loving the editing they did...

They edited it to look like I said that Mason's feeding pump cost $7000, I actually said that Variety gave us $7000 worth of supplies. They are really good at editing...go figure.

Anyways...just thought you other tubie Mom's would want to know we didn't get ripped off for the price of our pump.

Variety-The Children's Charity has there annual "Show of Hearts" Telethon on this weekend.

For those who don't know without Variety I don't even know what would have happened.

They have been there when NO ONE else was or could be.

They bought Mason his feeding pump and the cute (but not so cute) little backpack Mason carries around.

Mason will also be on the Telethon this Sunday from 1-2 and 2-3pm on Global BC TV.

Here is the link to watch the story from today...

They say the Camera adds ten pounds...

I am so going to go running as soon as I own a pair of running shoes.

Anyone got a pair of size seven Nikes... lol!

My Blog Design business is starting to pickup and it is really exciting.

I currently have two giveaways for Blog Designs so go over to DBD to enter!

Hope you all have a great week!

The Sears Fam