10 things i could & couldn't live without.
Part 2: Mason
i am sitting here perplexed.
i love my boys...
but my i am fed up with them.
i have been working on part 2: Mason for two days.
i can't do it b/c every time i sit down to do it, i get annoyed, angry, & really fed up.
m is running our lives right now.
j is doing anything bad that causes him to get attention.
the past two weeks have been so tiring & there is still tons to do.
tons to unpack & organize, it's eating at me.
m has been disgustingly aweful & violent these past couple days.
it has taken everything in my power to not hit him back.
i am sick of the other boys taking his brunt & i don't want my own child to hit me anymore.
he & i need help.
i am praying that on monday the specialists that we have be meeting with will be able to give us some insight.
i don't know what to do with a just two year old who is violent?
throws toys, bites, kicks, scratches & has several tantrums a day...
& all without warning & without provoking?
he needs to be kept away from everyone to have a good day.
this is impossible.
it is not right.
i feel like penning him away from the other children.
it is not right.
right now he just smashed a car into j's head & bite c within 3 mins.
he is now having time out in his bedroom.
he can be so good when we are outside & he has all my attention...
or when there is no j or c.
i am dumb founded...
some people think it's so easy...
"just do this"
you come try it.
BEDTIME could not come quick enough tonight...
i know that the morning will come way before i am ready for it.
the boys are getting up between 5-6 am.
is all i can say.
please bring answers & a way to bring them to action our lives...
to set in action what needs to happen.
life isn't supposed to be like this.
m is suffering & so are we.
i want to b happy...
to enjoy my days with my children.
Lord, i am jealous of those who do not struggle like me.
i am struggling in all aspects of my life.
i cannot do this alone any more.