November 9, 2010

Today could change everything.

Just writing this is making me lose it.

In the past months Mason has met with a new Pediatrician who specializes in Autism.
He met with Karen a Speech Pathologist.
He met briefly with a new Physiologist.

Mason has had many development tests done in the past couple months. 
His tests have shown a very large drop in development. 
His mental health test scored six times the worry point.
Six times the worry point for his age of 31 months.
Many of the professionals that see Mason ask when he is going to get a diagnose.
Everyone says Mason is "just such a complex, difficult case".
As if we didn't know that.

Mason has finished the speech part of the Autism Assessment.
He scored three percent overall for his age.
The SP believes Mason should fit the spectrum.
The pediatrician thinks he should fit the spectrum.

Today Mason has his Autism Physc. Evaluation.
Although Mason has met with her once & she says she has seen plenty of his behaviors.
We are really nervous. 
We are paying for the Autism Assessment for the second time this year. 

We all know that as Mason gets older he will get a diagnose of High functioning Autism.
It's just by then it'll be too late for early intervention.
By then my son could be gone.
Who Mason once was...
We want to keep the glimpses we still see.
The bits of happiness that are still there.
The decline in of "Mason" in the past 7 months is incredible.
All this being said, Mason has times were he can be such a fun little guy.

We are just so scared of being let down again.
To afraid to think that we are actually could get some help from the government.
We are truly afraid & I believe we are all just guarding our spirits.

If Mason gets the diagnose of Autism he will receive the therapy he needs.
It'll give the government another reason to say he is not "normal" & his situation isn't changing anytime soon.
They will really have to consider paying for his medical equipment. 
I don't see how they could say no.
Our lives would change shape & for the better.
Mason needs that therapy, without it...
We simply cannot afford the therapy.
And we are still waiting to even get our appointment with the At-Home Nurse for her assessment saying he needs the medical funding.
We have been turned down twice.

We should find out this week or next the Genetic Results as well.
Does Mason really have Smith-Magenis Syndrome? 
We need this question answered. 
We have been waiting for 19 weeks now. 

Things at Nick's work have been really shaken up for the last two years.
They fired people, God saved Nick's job & put people on his side.
Over the summer his work put in a new Press...
For those who don't know Nick prints newspapers & flyers.
So in the summer Nick was in training for the new press, he lost $5 an hour for the summer.
It was a substantial loss, he also worked awful hours & was never home.
But he had moved over to the new press for the perks.
We have enjoyed those perks for the last two months.
He had three twelve hour night shifts a week, then worked one to two overtime shifts.
Financially we were kinda of getting our all regular bills caught up.
Now his General Manager has been fired.
This is one of the main guys who was on Nick's side. 
There is talk about changing the shifts by new management & he would be working 5 nights a week. 
Hopefully having two days off in a row together, but maybe not.
This leaves just two nights a week for overtime.
Money is going to be SO tight again.
And I will be up five nights a week anywhere from 6-12 times a night with Mason & the other boys.
Bring on the triple time exhaustion for Nick & I.

We have also lost $1300 a month due to taxes & a regular donation we have had for the past 11 months being done.
We knew it was going to happen, but its awful none the less.
Last year somehow our lovely government screwed up & couldn't fix giving me $700 a month. 
God was providing.
Trusting that the outcome of today is how God is going to provide now.

So as you can see all of this puts added stress on today.
Mason really needs help & he really needs at least this one part of his diagnose.
We realize that Mason will end up with several diagnoses in the end, but this one...
it counts for now.
It could change the rest of Mason's life for the good.

It sounds crazy, wishing for a diagnose of Autism to happen...
but we all know it's there. 

Please say an extra prayer for today, Mason has a knack for doing too well in formal assessments.

We are trying to have faith in God, that this is where we are being led.

We have always left our finances up to God. 
God can provide & he truly does.
But there is still anxiety about it.
It's only human right?

Our world has been different then we expected.
This is definetly not how I imagined things.
We have been talking about how our future as parents has changed...
And we strangely are at peace with it all.

In some "Drop us to our knees" news, there are some really great people in this world.
People posting left & right about Mason.
People sharing their thoughts, words, & prayers with us.
And then there is this one thing...
We got news yesterday that we are to write Christmas wish lists for our boys.
Some lovely people are going to buy them their Christmas gifts.
We are just so thankful.
Tears are strolling as I write this.
We really like giving our boys the world...
this Christmas we weren't going to be able to give them much.

My Christmas wish's are...
Mason to become healthy & happy. Whole.
Josh to have peace, the attention he needs. To be happy at home.
Carter to also become healthy & eat. Just. Eat & drink regular liquids.
Nick to have some time to rest.
For myself, rest & take care of myself properly.

Our family has felt the outpouring of prayers & support from everyone.
It has been truly amazing.

But I am going to ask again. 
Please say an extra prayer for Mason @ 12:30 Pacific time.
We really need the best outcome. 
We also understand that God has a plan.
We are trusting.

The Sears Fam


  1. I love you girl and I am praying EXTRA hard for EVERYTHING!!!

  2. Every ounce of my heart is going out to your family... I'm praying Mason get the diagnosis he need for early intervention. That makes all the difference! I have seen 1st had how my friends son has improved after being in therapy. He finally talks some now, and interacts with people so much better. I hope this for Mason... and I also hope it has a domino effect of the rest of your life. I hope you get all the financial support for Mason's medical needs and all that implies. There is so much love in your precious little family... and so much more love pouring in from all of us. God has a plan... it's in his hands, as is everything. Much love.

  3. Dana, you amaze me -- your strength and endurance and tenacity. And yet I know how much you need a break -- how much you need help, and how much you need to be able to have a good reason to let go the sigh of ultimate relief so you can get Mason the help he needs.

    I can see the pain in what you write. Mason is being overlooked by the system, but so are you.

    I hope and pray Mason gets the diagnosis he needs today in order to secure the help that you need -- the help that could mean such a huge difference for Mason and for your family.

    Prayer and love are with you today,

  4. Thank you so much for your support Ladies! It was a really long day and now we are waiting for the results. It could be a day to 1.5 weeks. Let you know when we know.

    Bonnie- I love you more than words can say, you are a gift from God.

    Amanda- Thank you for reminding me there is a plan. I WAS feeling really tired today. And the support from everyone...I can't even begin to thank everyone. I am just in go mode...

    Kirsten- You made me cry. Thank you so much for your words. You have been part of my all day thoughts for the past several days. I wish I could drive down to spend sometime with you again. Thank you for thinking about us over here.

    Love you lots Ladies!